Thursday, July 5, 2012

YOU There, Lurker... And Food. And Teeth.

Alright, I've had it.

You there - yes, I'm talking to you.  The lurky one.  Leave a comment.   Show yourself!  Surely you are not disgusting and full of boils, hanging out in the shadows as you are.  And if you're fairly Frankenstein-esque, we can still be friends.  Like in some weird indie movie.

Translation:  according to my bloggy thing I'm getting a decent number of page views and very few comments.  It will be hard, though not impossible, to make out with you if I don't know who you are.

Oh, and if you are some sort of ghost with an internet connection, if you could insert some Harry Belafonte into my life by force, I really feel like that would pick up my spirits.  K thanks.




In other news - I've dislocated my jaw.  (Mind out of the gutter, girls... Just for now).  I'm a teeth grinder.  I do this at night, it's my unconscious way of dealing with stress because during the day my response to it is inappropriate jokes and general shenanigans (I'll pause for surprise...)

Pause.

Anyhoodle.  This means my face is a little off kilter and I sound a little like Greta Van Susteren.  It also means more time on my couch, more medication, and more playing Animal Crossing on wii with my sister-in-law.  (Oh, I'm 30.. Wait, why are you asking?)

I was also thinking about adding food into the topic-o-conversation around here.

Just every once in awhile.

See, when I failed my glucose tolerance test a little over a year ago, I had to learn to cook.  The upside & downside to living in a big city is that if you want something delivered, so it shall be.  I had an aversion to doing any kind of cooking, eating anything remotely healthy adventurous,  so I was thinking of every once in awhile sticking a recipe in here, in case you are trying to eat healthy because you're trying to conceive, you're pregnant, or like me, you were just a pepsi guzzling vegetable hater with an attitude problem.  PLUS Bubba is a type-1 diabetic (read:  skinny person with a treasonous pancreas that just inexplicably died) so all meals are well-rounded and not full-to-the-brim with sugar...

Okay, there are a few that are definitely not good for you, but they're so delicious you would be the happiest fat girl in all the land.

I got most of my recipes online, from friends, or from cooking TV shows.  I have a love hate relationship with Rachael Ray, I'm fairly certain the Barefoot Contessa is a manic depressive and Giada de Laurentiis.. Well, I've found recipes from her too, but mostly I watch every once in awhile because I'm pretty sure every time they come back from commercial break her teeth get bigger.



(Seriously, if you're getting veneers and the dentist says "so, do you want small, medium, large or extra large?" you do not say "extra large!" unless you are Andre the Giant re-made flesh in exchange for dental problems).

Happy Thursday, everyone.  Uterine blessings to all.





29 comments:

  1. Yoohoo, Dahling, I'm heeere! ::waving obnoxiously::

    I wish I had some Motherly advice to offer you on your jaw, but I haven't a clue what to do for that besides to say I'm sorry, and how about a lovely beverage or some medication that causes drooling during sleep?

    Giada's teeth frighten me, besides the size of her forehead. Almost as much as Oompah Loompas. For recipes, I tend to drool over episodes of Pioneer Woman (and a fellow BLOGGER, no less!) Check Ree Drummond out, she can be heavy on the butter sometimes, but her stuff is actually replicable (is that a word?)

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    1. Yay! My Boob dangly friend!

      Do you have links to these blogs?

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  2. I tried to comment before, I promise, but my computer or the page wouldn't let me. I saw the link to your blog on TWW (I'm JMS and also in LA). I am sort of just getting into reading the infertility blogs since I have been in denial about the whole thing, but seeing as I am in my first IVF tww, I think it's time to embrace it and find others who are going through the same thing. I have been enjoying your blog because I also sometimes feel like kids ruin Disneyland.

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    1. Yay a fellow LA slave!

      Yeah that's why I was hesitant to start a blog in the first place, didn't want to admit to being an infertile. But then thought screw it, there are others! Surely I can throw my sassy hat in the ring! ;)

      And yes. Kids DO ruin Disneyland. Fact.

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  3. Love reading ur blog. Saw ur link on TWW and now I'm hooked!!!

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    1. Yay Anonymous! Please post the occasional comment! Makes me feel like I'm not talking to myself on here (like I do in real life).

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  4. I have to confess, I AM A LURKER! Sorry, I really am quite an attractive gal, no boils, great sense of humour (now it sounds like I'm trying to internet date you.....) but I haven't posted a reply, til now!

    I LOVE your blog. You are funny and positive and one of those people I want to be around.
    Lisa
    and PS I am also a sleeping teeth grinder!!

    July 6, 2012 1:07 AM

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  5. Not that I ever lurked, but ... hi again. Do you know the site smittenkitchen.com? I get so many great recipes from her, and her blog with its funny stories and beautiful pictures is always a pleasure to read.

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    1. Umm, I love it. Thank you!

      And if you want something slightly useless but endlessly hilarious, look up "drunk kitchen" on youtube. ;)

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  6. Dang... you funny, girl!

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  7. I'm afraid I'm a terrible lurker. But here I am, peeking out of the shadows!

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    1. Hello terrible lurker! Sing it loud & proud! Let's make out.

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  8. You're amazing. And now I want to go watch Beetlejuice (won't say it two more times!). Btw I am so glad I am not the only one who feels the same way about Giada's teeth. Speaking of teeth, about the grinding...I have that problem too. Go to the dentist stat and get a mouth guard...gets rid of the jaw/head pain. Uterine blessings to you as well.

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    1. I have no idea how her teeth haven't been turned into an SNL skit. No idea.

      Also no idea why I'm on a Beetlejuice kick lately - maybe because this whole infertility thing makes me want to move to a country house, start wearing funeral garb and hang with ghosts.

      Horrible confession: I have the mouth guard, and I always forget it. Oh for shame.

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  9. I almost died laughing at this post. I know all about lurkers (and am one myself at times!)

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    1. It's really hard to try to cybersex people who won't show themselves. No one wants to get into a masturbatory online session, it's just sad.

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  10. Hey chickie! Sorry I'm so behind. My dumb computer is still broken. Ouch about your jaw! I'm always grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw when I'm stressed. Sucks! Thanks for being there for me through this whole mess. I really appreciate you. I'll write more tomorrow at work or when I get my computer back. Hugs and love to you friend!!

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    1. Don't worry about being behind! Good Lord. LOT'S of hugs & love to you, gorgeous.

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  11. Sorry about the jaw. I just found you today but I will will be here everyday now! I'm not a lurker as you can see from the 1003 comments I have left you today, from now on with one per post I will also seem less stalkerey. Now I am off though, got to go look at Lisa the Lurker's page and not comment.

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  12. I just found you today and your blog makes me laugh. I trust Pinterest for good recipes. I know, I KNOW, I thought it was a crazy place also but once you weed out all the random boards it signs you up to follow, fun times can commence.

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    1. Hello, lovely!

      My experience with pinterest - I thought "what a waste of time!" and then fast forward to two weeks later, I have little idea what day it is and I've gone blind from staring at it.

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  13. definitely not a lurker i am spending my day at work reading your whole blog! Count me in as a follower/stalker! ;)

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  14. I just found you through the August ICLW list. I love reading through your posts. I have a sister but I would totally trade her in for you, the more awesome one.

    Also, I just watched Billy Eichner for the first time and laughed so hard I couldn't breathe so -thank you- for that.

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    1. Yes! YESSSS! Billy Eichner cures all ills!

      Greetings, Quietly Southern! Loudly Californian, pleased to meet you. ;)

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  15. Just started reading your blog. I came over from D's blog My Life is About the Journey :) I'm starting from the beginning and catching up slowly!

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  16. As someone with overly large veneers (thanks to fluorosis - don't give fluoride to your future baby), let me tell you that they do not always inquire. As an a patient, sometimes you're just a little too trusting, you know?

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