Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Do-Him List. Also, Go Cheer Someone Up.

Happy Tuesday, my lovely lady lumps.

So Monday was a bit shit.

I spent most of the day going through and paying all the bills from IVF in June.  Millions of trees had to die so that I could get countless copies of essentially the same message:

Dear Jenny,
We are sorry that your month long journey into a uterine abyss did not result in a baby, however we sincerely hope that someone is breastfeeding you, as you will never be able to afford store bought food ever again ever.  You owe eleventy million dollars. It's due yesterday.
Kisses!
-The Medical Community

And then, kids, and THEN, I'm on the phone with my Mom complaining about said bills, when the doorbell rang.  Could it be my neighbor who is clearly digging graves in his backyard? (Who is, by the way, still...digging...)!  No. Worse.

Strange Lady: Hi
Stork: Hi....
Strange Lady: I talked to your husband earlier about coming to pick up your crib?
Stupid: No.  You really didn't.  You must have the wrong house.
Spawn of Lucifer:  Whoops.

Also, though I got a positive digital opk last.. Wednesday?  I never had the O pains that I usually do, so I'm thinking it must have been a bust.  Oh well, gratuitous sex.


So let's cheer ourselves up with a game, shall we?

Five people, dead or alive, that are at the top of your "do him/her" list.  Go.  Don't think.  Trust your instincts.

Mine:


1.  Bill Murray
Shut your filthy whorish mouth.  I don't care if he's approaching 500 years old, this man has literally never said anything that didn't make me laugh out loud.  If he had been the one to call me and tell me that only one of my eggs fertilized, I may have fallen off my couch laughing.




2.  River Phoenix
He was my first love.  Never have I ever seen a man so pretty and yet miraculously heterosexual in my life.  When I was 11 and learned he had died I would've been less upset if someone told me Santa Claus had been castrated and shot.





3.  Angelina Jolie
Don't pretend she's not on your list.  And I'm not talking about do-gooder, Mom to a small tribe Angelina, I'm talking old school wearing blood around her neck and talking about knives Angelina.  Gimme.






4.  Ryan Gosling
Okay, it's a little boring and obvious but who are we kidding.  My hairdresser and I on Friday had a heated debate about Gosling vs Reynolds, who I find hideous.  Can you not tell just by looking at him that he's a smug asshole?  Seriously.  So beige.  Gosling, I feel, before any love making would improvise some poetry about your eyes, feed you some sort of exotic fruit hybrid whilst simultaneously greasing his own abs.


5.  Eric from True Blood
No, not the actor, just Eric.  I want him pissy, mean and wanting to eat me (interpret that as you will).  One of my biggest irrational fears, living here, is that I run into him somewhere in the daylight and discover that he's a delightful human being.  No thank you.



Alright.  Gimme.  Let's hear yours.


******This just in.

This is lo.  She is wonderfully funny and one of my favorite sisters in shittiness.

She is 13 days into her post-IVF 2ww and hasn't had a positive pee stick.. Yet.  As someone who recently traveled to CooCooVille post-IVF, I support any and all activities that involve going to her blog and cheering her on.  Nude tribal dances on behalf of her ovaries are encouraged.  (And yes, when you are having a particularly rough moment I may shamelessly point people in your direction without your permission.  Bite me.)

Also, this is Doping For Baby.  Also full of awesome-sauce, also a shitty-day.  I encourage good vibes.

For you, lovely lo, as you have revealed below what can only be described as an extremely odd fancy for Patrick Stewart.  My cat judges you.











124 comments:

  1. OK, I'm with you on #4 and #5, and I can even kinda see #3 and #1. . . but there our paths diverge, as I never saw the appeal of River Phoenix and think Ryan Reynolds is H.O.T. and totally doable. (Also, I disagree that he's probably a smug asshole. Check out some of his earlier flicks; I actually think he was probably a dork in high school before coming into his own.)

    Sorry about all the IVF-related bills. Writing checks for medical treatment which did not produce the desired result must be the worst thing ever!

    As I am still paying off loans for our IVF cycle which produced our 6-month-old twins, I sorta know how you feel. . . . but I will confess, the checks are a bit easier to write when the cycle works.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Try 'Running on Empty' if that doesn't get you onto River, nothing will.

      Delete
    2. What?! WHAT!!

      Okay I can forgive you for Ryan Reynolds, possibly (though I tell you, it looks like his one running thought forever and always is "look at how hot I am") but River? Oh River. SO. BEAUTIFUL.

      Delete
  2. My one and only on my do him list is Sean Bean. All hot and beardy and rugged...excuse me I need to see what my husband is up to.. better not call him Sean again this time...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I weep in LOTR when he dies defending the hobbits. Weep I tell you. He is yummy, and his north east of England accent is divine.

      Delete
    2. I knew I liked you

      Delete
    3. I just had to google Sean Bean.

      Oh for shame.

      Delete
    4. I totally cried when he died!! Love him!! :-)

      Delete
  3. LOL, this is too funny not to reply to! Okay, my list in no particular order: Brad Pitt (had a sex dream about him once...yum...), Beyonce (she's my make-believe girlfriend!), Bruce Willis (young, old, who cares? Its freaking Bruce Willis!), Dane Cook, and the last one is a toss up between Cary Grant and young Marlon Brando - they are both so deliciously handsome and sexy...

    I feel you on the medical bills, as soon as I get paid I have to suck it up and pay a $470 lab invoice. Almost $500 for some measily blood work??? Health Insurance in the U.S. is F'ed Up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brad Pitt in 'Meet Joe Black' mmmmmmmmmmmmm, not so much in Kalifornia!

      Delete
    2. Yessss Meet Joe Black. Or Legends of the Fall.

      Bruce Willis a-la-Pulp Fiction, yes. The young Marlon Brando, yesssss.

      Dane cook?! Dane cook!!

      Delete
    3. Don't be hatin' on my Dane Cook! He may make *horrible* movies, but I love his stand-up comedy and yes, I think he is *damn* sexy! XD

      Delete
    4. I'm with you on Dane Cook! :drool:

      Delete
    5. I just vomited in my mouth a little bit.

      Delete
  4. Leonardo DiCaprio (in the R&J years), Ewan McGregor (in Moulin Rouge), Matt Damon (in the Bourne's), Colin Firth (in P&P) and Daniel Craig (in Casino Royal), oh yeah baby, grrrrrrr.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG... Leonardo DiCaprio pre-titanic (I die, I love R&J so much), Ewan McGregor Moulin Rouge, Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting... YESSSS.

      Though someday I will write my Leonardo DiCaprio story in here, and how he ruined my love for him in one evening.

      I feel like Colin Firth would find me very undignified.

      Delete
    2. Matt Damon, that's a good one :-)

      Delete
  5. Children, all of them.
    Give me some Patrick Stewart any day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would totally do Patrick Stewart

      Delete
    2. Hahaha... Patrick Stewart?! I die.

      Although every time I look at him I think of that amazing scene he did in extras. That makes me love him.

      Delete
    3. He is dead sexy. That voice, that bald pate, that string face. Meow.
      Thanks for the shoutout yo, it is much appreciated as I sit here warming my butt for PIO that is most possibly pointless.

      Delete
    4. Strong face. Geese on a stick.
      Also, to weigh in on the Ryan Reynolds thing....ugh. My friend Brian has this picture with him and it was some Lohan level of orange. I can't get behind that.
      I also dug Tom Selleck back in the day.
      Maybe I should have saved that as a Sunday Secret.

      Delete
    5. Not pointless yet! These are still needles with a purpose, damnit!

      Tom Selleck. Yesssss!

      He is the one on my.. top 15 list, let's say, that sticks out like a sore thumb. There is absolutely nothing about him that sticks out to me as 'sexy' and yet he is. I'm ashamed to say his role on Friends may have accomplished this for me.

      Delete
  6. Ok this one is silly and he is probably gay, but who cares. Derek Jeter has been at the top of my list for a long while now. He is followed by many others on the Yankees roster. What is it about those pinstripes that makes me want some of that?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. I don't normally dig on the whole athlete thing - but he is yumm-o.

      Delete
    2. Some people I know that just "ooops we had a baby"-ied named thier son Jeter. I can't get into it....

      Delete
    3. Named their son Jeter?!? I hope he is fantastically awful at sports and delightfully gay. Is that wrong?

      Delete
    4. BAhahahahaa! OMG seriously?! I wanted to maybe name my cat that, but then decided against it because it seemed cheesy!

      Delete
    5. See? An IF blessing. We are more conscious with cat-names than a fucking fertile is with their childs. GO US.

      Delete
    6. I don't think that is wrong at all Jenny. I kinda hope so too. It's a bad bad name. My friend's husband wanted to name their daughter wrigley, as in wrigley field! Luckily she did not allow that one.

      Delete
    7. Wrigley! WHAT?!

      I think anything that would make an excellent name for a Muppet is generally a bad idea for a child.

      Delete
  7. I have to disagree...I think Ryan Reynolds is yummy! Totally prefer him over Ryan Gosling. But, I am totally with you on River Phoenix. I was so sad when he died. I remember thinking "But he's a vegetarian, he can't die of a drug overdose" hahha. I was so naive.
    I would add Ewan Mcgregor (he's the only celebrity I have asked to take a picture with at a wrap party), Cary Elwes (only in Princess Bride) and Zac Efron (what? don't judge me)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lines are being drawn on the Reynolds vs. Gosling front! I wonder if it's like the Beatles & the Rolling stones, where you can technically like them both but nobody every likes them equally...

      Zac Efron!? ZAC EFRON!! Does he even have pubes yet?!

      Delete
    2. I know! I feel like that should have been a secret sunday entry.

      Delete
  8. Stopping by from ICLW and too say thanks for commenting on my little blog. OK my five Robert Downey Jnr, Tim Minchin, Paul Dimeo from Extreme Makeover, Ryan Adams and biggest guilty pleasure Jim Parsons has Sheldon Cooper :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HOW could I have forgotten Robert Downey Jr... A glaring error...

      Delete
  9. After spending the last 3 weeks watch the Tour de France I'd have to put Mark Cavendish at the top of the list...those legs and that accent. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just so you know, I was just typing his name on google to get a peak and the box immediately filled itself with "Mark Cavendish Girlfriend". I suspect you are not the only woman full of lust.

      Delete
    2. Sadly no. :( His gf is a model and gained even more popularity when she took to twitter after Mark was in a crash at the beginning of the Tour.

      Delete
    3. A twittering model. If that doesn't say true love, I don't know what does.

      Delete
    4. Over a month later and I had an ah-ha! moment...DAVE MATTHEWS - he's #1 on my list :)

      Delete
    5. Hahaha! I love that this question is haunting. HAUNTING.

      He IS cute... Reminds me of college, being surrounded in boys who loved Dave Matthews, pot, and hemp necklaces.

      Although now, sadly, whenever I think of Dave I think of that whole poop-on-a-bus thing. ;)

      Delete
  10. 1. Jesse Williams
    Droooool
    2. Eminem
    I know gross, but I can't help it
    3. Gerard Butler
    It's the accent
    4. Bruce Willis
    Die HARD - need I say more
    5. Chris Rock
    because think about what that would be like, and our child would be hillarious

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can totally get on the Butler board.. I have never thought of Chris Rock before but by G-d, you're right, that would at least result in a great story.

      I accept your Eminem entry only because you admit that it is gross.

      Delete
    2. Best Gerard film is 'Dear Frankie' if you haven't seen it then you need to. Right now!

      Delete
    3. I have not even heard of this! Checking netflix streaming...

      Delete
    4. I haven't seen it either. I will put it on my Netflix as well! Thanks Em.

      Delete
  11. Wow I TOTALLY needed this post today. Frown upside down - yeah you caused that. teehee.
    While I have my own little list can I just say that your #2 is probably my #6. Sorry Joaquin but no one holds a candle to your brother.
    1. Yes I am stealing your #5. ERIC - yes like you, Eric. Not Alexander (though he was kind of rough and sexy in Generation Kill)
    2. Ewan McGregor (after seeing him do Long Way Round I found I actually like him and not just who he was playing on screen)
    3. Jeremy Renner (anyone else as excited for the Bourne Legacy as me?)
    4. Joe Manganiello (enough of these super skinny celebrities - I want a real man)
    5. Christina Hendricks (sure if we're going there she would be on my list - sorry Stork Angelina doesn't make the cut for me at all).
    And I might just steal this idea for my ICLW. Great one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey there lady! Steal - steal! It's very revealing.

      1. Should I see generation kill? I'm so afraid it might ruin him for me.

      2. Ewan. YESSSS. Kiss me with that giant mouth.

      3. Ohh Jeremy Renner is adorable - but even if he wasn't gay I feel as though my love making may frighten him.

      4. Oh, Joe. Originally when he was introduced I thought he was boring. Now I am on board. He's like the human manifestation of the Brawny man.

      5. Human manifestation of Jessica Rabbit.

      Angelina doesn't make the cut? Lies... Lies!!!

      Delete
    2. Yes, check out Generation Kill. Not sure if you would be interested in a mini series about the war in the middle east, but Alex sure is nice to look at all those long hours! And like we haven't seen enough of that sexy ass in True Blood, he also shares a camio of his bum in GK :)
      And please, say it isn't so...Jeremy, gay? I actually hadn't heard that. What a shame to have him off the market.
      Angelina just gets on my nerves. I will admit if I can take away her whole personality she is a hot woman.

      Delete
  12. OK...I'll play along with this one...my list isn't laminated or anything. I like the idea of changing some of them out now and again, but some of them haven' t changed in years....and I mean since I was like 8 years old...

    1. Larry Mullen Jr...he's the drummer of the band U2 and I seriously had our wedding planned out to dates and times....My husband had to agree to my pre-nup...If Larry comes knocking' you get walking'

    2. Johnny Depp....I know a little over done, but I have this thing about pirates....Ever since a little movie called "The Pirate Movie" from the early 80's...I truly enjoy Captain Jack Sparrow's swagger...

    3. Ryan Gosling, I will agree is hot, but he reminds me of a friend from college and it kind of freaks me out...So I'll go with the other Ryan Reynolds, even if he is Canadian...I'd be his green card :)

    4. Bradley Cooper...I'm sorry he plays an ass in almost every movie, but I would still let him rock my world any time.

    5. My oldie but goodie...Sean Connery....I don't care if it's him in his Bond days or when he starred with Nick Cage in THE ROCK...the accent just does me in every time...


    Thanks for the good laugh and well I'll firmly admit I would drop the Ryan thing if Angelina decided to switch teams...and I would switch to be on her team if she goes back to the naughty girl...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How the mother effer did I forget Johnny Depp? What was I DOING?!?

      I realize I started this game but the fact that I didn't make it top 10 is now upsetting.

      If you have a friend from college who looks like Ryan Gosling I can't imagine why you're doing anything else ever other than sleeping with your friend from college that looks like Ryan Gosling.

      Looking up U2 drummer...

      Delete
    2. Oh let me tell you how I wanted to sleep with said friend from college...but it ended up being a brother/sister type relationship and now the idea really kind of freaks me out....

      And yes...Larry is quite the looker...

      Delete
  13. Oh my goodness. You? Are FABULOUS.

    Thanks so much for stopping by and Happy ICLW! I'm remembering now why I love this so much. :)

    Would you believe I never had a lemon drop? It sounds like YOU could use one, though.

    And I only have one. Johnny Depp. I see he's been taken. Rock, paper, scissors?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Umm, I want to have sex with every last one of his Tim Burtony characters.

      You have never had a lemon drop?!?

      Step away from the computer and immediately rectify this situation.

      Delete
  14. My #'s 1-5 is HUGH JACKMAN...Love me some wolverine!!!

    And I just have to say Miss Stork, you are the best blog friend a girl could wish for! Thanks for letting us know about Lo and Doping for Baby...I definitely went over to give my support.

    I'm sorry you had such a sucky day...but after reading all these comments I assume your spirits have been lifted :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We just named my kitten Logan after Wolverine. Love Hugh Jackman!

      Delete
    2. Yay for support!

      Woot woot.

      Hugh Jackman may be too smiley for me. I like the sort of 'does he want to sleep with me or murder me?' look.

      My spirits are always lifted by a nooky-related debate.

      Delete
  15. Mine changes up monthly but #5 never changes.
    1. Jensen Ackles, I have loved him since Dawson's Creek.
    2. Paul Welsey, The Vampire Diaries is a guilty pleasure. Google him shirtless.
    3. Henry Cavill, he will be Clark Kent in the 2013 Superman. Hot man in spandex? Yes, please.
    4. Tom Hiddleston, especially in his Loki voice. Is it obvious I like comic books by now?
    5. Milla Jovovich, always and forever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE the specific instructions to google him shirtless.

      Milla Jovovich. Another story I shall share on here one day.

      Delete
    2. (2)I share the Vampire Diaries thing. Sandwich between Damon & Stefan? yes please!!
      (3) Speaking of sandwiches the Tudors did me in with Henry Cavill and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I don't need to be thinking these things at work.

      Sorry I had to crash your comment. ;)

      Delete
    3. I've been watching The Tudors on Netflix a lot this week just to stare at Henry Cavill. I would be down with a Damon and Stefan sandwich too!

      Delete
    4. Um, strike my list, can I have this one?!? I had to google each and every one of them as I haven't heard of any of them and I was even a huge Dawson dork! But yes this is a good list indeed. Except maybe Tom, you can keep Tom and I'll keep Chris Rock in hopes that he will tell white girl sex jokes about me one day.

      Delete
  16. Oh, River Phoenix. How I miss you so. Sigh.

    I'm on the Bradley Cooper bandwagon. Those Aviators. On him. In The Hangover. Damn.

    Also. Dermot Mulroney from The Wedding Date. Cheesy movie but I would so let him take advantage of me drunk in a boat parked on a street any day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My River Phoenix sister! YES.

      There's something about Bradley Cooper that just... doesn't quite do it for me.. Less smug than Ryan Reynolds, but still.. I cannot get on board.

      I can totally see Dermot Mulroney a-la-my best friends wedding. YESS.

      Delete
  17. Oooooo These sound amazing. I'll have to come out of lurkerdom for these. :-) I should preface by saying that I'm somewhat of a geek and a blonde... All my friends tell me that me being a natural blonde makes me more attracted to blondes (that's crazy to me). So not a lot of tall, dark and handsome on my list...

    1. Chris Hemsworth (Thor): All I can imagine when I think of him is he picking me up and having his beefed up wicked way with me.

    2. Bradley Cooper: I'm a sucker for his eyes. Plus I read his people interview and he said he loves cooking and speaks fluent french.

    3. Ryan Reynolds: I don't really care if he's a jack ass, because in my fantasy he has a gag in his mouth and is tied down. I just want that Van Wilder ass and those washboard abs.

    4. Channing Tatum: New obsession from Magic Mike. That man has some amazing moves. Plus, he probably gives the ultimate strip tease.

    5. Saving the best for last, Heath Ledger. I fell in love with him from A Knight's Tale when I was 13 and was obsessed with him from them on. He was just amazing at anything he did. So many tears for my first true love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lurker... a lurker! I SEE YOU!

      Stay out of the shadows!

      Those are a hell of a lot of blondes.

      Oh, Heath Ledger.. He'd be somewhere in my top 20 I think. Damn.

      Delete
    2. Nice choices :-)

      Delete
  18. "Hey girl...how is it that I haven't found your blog until now??" (are you familiar with that meme? ;) I see from your blog intro that you live in LA. Me too! What a great blog you've got. Kudos to you!

    In no particular order:

    1. Paul Rudd: Funny, adorable, Jewish, and dimpled? Yes, please.

    2. Adam Levine: I'm a sucker for Jewish rocker boys with tats who could use base guitars as some sort of sex toy.

    3. Ryan Gosling: Hawt. Hottie. Drool. Abs I could grate cheese on...rawr.

    4. Brad Pitt but ONLY Tristan Brad from Legends of the Fall. I used to lock myself in the bathroom as a teen and listen to the Legends of the Fall soundtrack on my walkman. Not my proudest moments.

    5. Scarlett Johannson: There's something that would be plain old fun and debaucherous about that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVES THOSE MEMES.

      Hey there, L.A. friend!

      How in the fuck did I forget to put Paul Rudd on the list? Okay he's definitely in my top 10. Definitely.

      Delete
  19. Here from ICLW, and holy cow this blog kicks ass. Love.

    OK, I can't believe I'm doing this, but: George Strait, Colin Firth, Johnny Depp, Shemar Moore, and yes of course, Angelina.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See, I think Colin Firth is completely sexy and yet somehow I feel like he would detest me. Maybe I could win him over.

      Googling shemar moore...

      YESSSSS. Who the hell is that piece of ass?

      Delete
    2. He's on Criminal Minds. And formerly a model, no surprise there.

      Delete
  20. GAH! Stupid life making me late to this party. Must check blog more often. Done.

    Firstly, I completely support the Gosling and Depp camps. Those are some beautiful men! But to make sure I didn't cheat I wrote down the first 5 that came to me before I read any other answers. I'm about to reveal my intense nerdiness:

    1. My first love was Jonathan Brandis (SeaQuest, Ladybugs). I cried hysterically when he committed suicide and could not be consoled.
    2.James McAvoy (Atonement, Wanted) - sweet mercy I love this pale, skinny Brit. The library scene in Atonement? (shivers)
    3. Christian Bale: loved him since Newsies. Ours is a love that will never die
    4. Do fictional characters count? I thought of Laurie from Little Women... he was so fun!
    5. Emma Stone! Let me first lesbian encounter be with her and her beautiful red hair. Afterwards we'll get coffee and walk around NYC in cute hats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cannot believe I forgot Jonathan Brandis. A-la-Ladybugs he maaaay push out Gosling. As creepy as it sounds i got to go into his apartment building where he killed himself and WEPT. What a nerd I am.

      Yes! I would totally les it up with Emma Stone!

      Delete
    2. And James McAvoy! Yess. Yessssss. Anytime I watch Atonement it takes everything in me not to lick the TV screen.

      Delete
  21. Oh, and by the way, I LOVE your Bill Murray pick! One of our friends just met him in the airport and he was (according to her story) everything I ever imagined he could be. I love that man. He is RIDICULOUSLY funny. Watch more Bill Murray!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I HAVE to meet him at some point. HAVE TO. If I were you I would have licked your friend everywhere just to pick up his scent.

      Delete
    2. I considered it. He is apparently extremely elusive and dresses like he's homeless. That just made me love him all the more.

      Delete
  22. ELEVENTY MILLION DOLLARS?!

    Shit!!! It's time for you to switch out sad for angry music and drive around screaming in your car ;)

    I can't think of a long list. I'd definitely do Gosling though. For sure. Crazy Stupid Love is on HBO every day and I stop my life to watch it to the end, every time.

    Oh wait. Paul Walker from the Varsity Blues era and all those Fast/Furious movies. There was nothing hotter than that washing machine scene. And those EYES...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paul Walker I could totally get on board with except for that whole getting-it-on-with-teenagers thing.

      YES that movie is on everyday and whenever it pops up I check to see if it happens to be around the locker room scene..

      Delete
    2. Umm did I just advocate a pedophile? Is that why he hasn't made a movie in more than 10 years? Is he in jail? lol

      Delete
    3. HA! Well, I wouldn't put him in the to-catch-a-predator category, but...

      http://www.hollywoodbackwash.com/paul-walker-engaged-to-his-teenage-girlfriend/

      Delete
  23. OK, mine are john hamm (excruciatingly handsome), Ryan gosling (of course) and Adam sandler (I know, I know, but I've had a thing for him since I stumbled upon him whilefilming little nicki and he winked at me!) I never saw the appeal of Ryan Reynolds either. I totally once saw bill Murray walking down the street, his height surprised me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I AM SO JEALOUS OF THESE BILL MURRAY SIGHTINGS. WTF.

      You are my sister in anti-Reynolds.

      John Hamm wouldn't have done it for me but after seeing him on SNL and being hilarious I may or may not be a little bit in love. Plus the fact that he's with Jennifer Westfeldt (who I love) makes me think he has to be a genuinely good dude.

      Delete
    2. Agreed, both Ryan Reynolds and Matthew Mcconaughey do nothing for me.

      Delete
  24. Another Ryan Reynolds admirer here (and when I say "another," I'm clearly putting myself in the company of the other commenters, not you, SS!) - but Gosling will do, too. He certainly caught my eye in Drive, despite that particularly gruesome head-stomping scene.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have yet to see Drive! It's on my to-do list. As is he.

      Delete
  25. Oh wow I thought I had them all then as I read the comments I realised I had forgotten people!!
    1&2 Leo DiCaprio (my first true love!) I will always love him (even fat!) and Johnny Depp (I will always want to bite those cheekbones!
    3. Viggo Mortensen tho only really as Aragorn (ARAGOOOORN I love you!!) There's a scene where he throws open the doors...mmm
    4. Sean Bean, because he is a hot UK legend!
    Then I can't make a number 5 decision so I am going with:
    Daniel Craig, Ewan, Dave Grohl, Bruce Willis and Eric Bana
    All at once... too much?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dammit and Rufus Sewell. He has dirty fuck me now eyes, yum!

      Delete
    2. Umm, dirty fuck me now eyes is definitely going to be working itself into my vocabulary from this point forth.

      Delete
  26. Ugh, I feel your pain with the bills!! *big hugs* Ours are stressing me out. It's all going to be a good investment though, I keep saying.
    I really hope you DID ovulate! I'm not sure on mine either...maybe we'll both be surprised!!

    Hmm, my celeb crushes are always weird.
    Mike Birbiglia - he's a comedian that I've been in love with for quite some time.
    Steve from Ghost Hunters!!
    Ryan Reynolds - speaks for himself :-)
    Mark Wahlberg...yummy and multi-talented :P
    Jessica Alba - Her skin looks like honey ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG. Lisa we're soulmates.

      I shit you not I go on, and on, and on about Steve from Ghost Hunters. He's in my top 10 for sure.

      Delete
    2. Soulmates except for that whole Reynolds thing. I feel as though you & I could possibly get married, but with that one wrench in your list I'm not sure how we would raise our kids.

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    3. Yeah baby - Steve is a sexy beast!!
      Aww well I'd dump Ryan for YOU anyday!! :-D

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    4. Ooooo love this list. As a note, a lot of my Ryan Reynolds love is from Blade... I'm also obsessed with Jessica Alba from Dark Angel. I did say I was a geek! :)

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    5. I am with you ladies on Steve. Those tattoos...

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    6. AW! Mike Birbiglia! He's hilarious! I don't know if I would do him but I would cuddle with him, possibly loll in his lap whilst he told me funny stories. I think we'd be drinking hot chocolate.

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    7. Nice! You girls have good taste :-)

      Mmm I could definitely go for some pizza and hot chocolate with Mike Birbiglia. Love him. I met him and hugged him creepily.

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  27. I absolutely love your list. 3 and 5 would absolutely be on my list but Gosling vs Reynolds. I'm sorry I'm team Reynolds. But he wouldn't make my list. I would add Vin Diesel, his character from Riddick and that Australian from Hawaii 5-0. His name escapes me right now but he's doable just the same. Last but certainly not least is Ian Summerhalder. I love his Character Damon, not Ian himself, he's a bit of a tree hugger but I love him for the same reason that I love Eric from True Blood. Nothing like bad ass vampires who kinda have a heart. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Some days, due to his skin tone, preference for a grumpy face and nocturnal activities, I'm convinced I'm married to a bad ass vampire who kind of has a heart.

      Vin Diesel! Yes indeedy do.

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  28. I got right into the "Spartacus" series. The one with Lucy Lawless in it. And I was MADLY in love with the Spartacus lead dude. Like, I couldn't sleep for hours after watching the series on a Sunday night, he got me so worked up. Then I found out he died a year ago and I went into such a depressive funk that I have vowed never to crush on a celebrity again. And I feel for you with the devil's spawn visitor asking about the crib..... When I was in hospital and had just given birth to my stillborn daughter a phone call came to my room.
    Me "Hello" (thinking who the f*&k even knows I'm here?)
    Most evil woman in the universe: *Squealing* "Oooooooh Congratulations!!!!!!!"
    Me: "Um....you SO have the wrong room"
    Idiot friend of some super fertile woman who just had a live baby: *Laughing" "Oh, do I?"
    Me: Click.....beep.beep.beep.beep.

    Lisa

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    Replies
    1. What the FREAK. That. Is. Awful.

      Perhaps the same woman, going around tormenting people?

      Looking into Spartacus...

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  29. 1. Gabriel Byrne
    2. Eric Dane
    3. Joe Manganiello
    4. Ryan Gosling
    5. Bradley Cooper

    I don't usually go for "pretty boy" but there is just something about Ryan, maybe that he is a fellow Canadian.

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    Replies
    1. Ooooh Gabriel Byrne... Strangely sexy, that one.

      Delete
  30. Dude, seriously? You are hysterical. Will you be my best friend? :)

    I'm kinda lame and don't have many celeb crushes, but I can tell you that I would ABSOLUTELY do Adam Levine

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    Replies
    1. Yes I will be your best friend. I make no promises that I will not try to get you to les it up, at some point.

      Seeeee now Adam Levine... I thoroughly enjoyed Maroon-5 when they came out with "Sunday Morning". Made me so happy. Thought he was hot.

      Now he's everywhere - on my tv, my radio, in my kitchen cupboard...

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    2. HAHAHA! Who else do you have hiding in your kitchen cupboard?

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  31. I just started readng your blog - and wanted you to know how much I appreciate you putting your world out there. In these crazy times of IF it is nice to know you aren't alone.
    And yessss gosling>reynolds all day everyday.

    But my #1 would have to be mark wahlberg. anyway he wanted it.

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    Replies
    1. Gracias, chiquita! I'm new as well and there is happily happily a shit ton of IF's to read. Hazzah!

      One more for team Gosling - woot woooooooot!

      Mark Wahlberg. Okay, granted, in the do-him game we are not dealing with personality so on looks alone, yes. But somehow everytime he speaks I imagine inside his head is just a hamster running on a wheel.

      Tell me you've seen the SNL skit "Mark Wahlberg talks to animals". If you have not, do it now. DO IT NOW, I SAY!

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  32. Ps has anyone said Channing Tatum yet? Drool.......
    Lisa

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    Replies
    1. I belieeeeeve Emerald may have mentioned him....Odd as though it sounds, he just somehow doesn't do it for me? Maybe too pretty?

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    2. I think the moral of the story here is every lady needs to go see Magic Mike. These is someone in the line up for everyone in that movie!!! Plus Matthew McConaughey never ages I swear.

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    3. I reckon he's amazingly cute but maybe too much of a "nice guy". He doesn't look like the kinda guy who'd push you down on the bed and give you a good pounding. Still nice to look at though!
      Lisa

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  33. I'm not having a really good day myself. So I thought this game might be fun. But I'll leave no comments. I'm mysterious like that. Sometimes... Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Christian Bale, John Barrowman, Johnny Depp and Jason O'Mara.

    But that's how I feel right now. Anything can change by tomorrow. Or in an hour. Gosh, I'm so moody and unpredictable.

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    Replies
    1. I forgot to mention I have a wild card from my DH for Johnny Depp. I think I will try and change it for Christian Bale at this point. But only as Bruce Wayne though...

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    2. YESSSS.

      I enjoy Christian Bale thoroughly because my type is, totally and completely, "does he want to kiss me or murder me?"

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  34. Tom Selleck, Tom Hanks, and Stevie Wonder were on my do-him list growing up. I would still probably do them, but here's my updated list: Dave Matthews, Taye Diggs, and Justin Timberlake. Holy hot balls, batman!

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    Replies
    1. Justin Timberlake! I am so shocked this is his first vote! YES.

      Delete
  35. My do-him list... Oh geesh. I am not sure... is that the wrong answer.

    An ICLW Visit from #63
    liddy @ the unfair struggle (mfi, speedskating, 1st 2ww)

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