Thursday, October 25, 2012

Get Your Bologna Out of My Vaj

Greetings ladies.

I'm going to explode.  No seriously you should back up otherwise you're going to get something on you.

Warning - this is going to get quasi-political.  And though I can sense out in the ether some followers perhaps clicking the 'unfollow' button, some lurkers deciding that their time is better spent hiding in someone else's bush (pun intended and awesome) and some ICLWers innocently arriving here and falling victim to my wrath..  This is, after all, among other things a place to vent, right? Today you are going to get my not altogether organized and somewhat hostile thoughts.

I need old men to stop talking about my vaj.  Like, yesterday.

Who knew - all these years I've been thinking my uterus was empty, getting sad about it and working myself into a frenzy that can only be compared to a woman that's been watching Steel Magnolia's (the Sally Field version, please) for 2 days straight and this whole time it's been occupied!  It wasn't empty at all, ladies!  It was occupied!

By an adorable growing baby with Bub's brains and my wit?  No.  By hundreds of tiny decrepit aging white men in suits and invariably red ties.  They have crawled up there in the middle of the night like little uterine elves, raised up an American flag and have since been making discoveries - okay sure, they defy the logic of science, common sense and any form of morality but discoveries just the same! - and coming to quite the interesting conclusions.

Oh, and I would abort them but apparently that's going to be illegal soon.  I'll get back to you on what they decide.

For those of you who may have missed it, or those who are the delightful residents of countries that do not have the access to time machines and therefor aren't dealing with men from the 1950's (and earlier) popping up like a sudden colony of unstoppable cockroaches - a sweet looking bumbly man named Richard Mourdock, who is a representative in Indiana, made a fascinating little declaration yesterday:

"I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that’s something God intended to happen."

Drink it in, ladies, drink. it. in.

To be fair, the link I included was one that includes his... defense of himself.  (Oh lawdy I need a shower).

Now I have openly admitted on here that I am a bleeding-heart liberal (I can feel some of your mouses hovering over the unfollow button - I'm fairly open minded I swear) but I do not believe this is a Us vs. Them issue.  It is a vaj issue.

That being said - this lovely little picture was circling around the interwebs yesterday which is.. a Greatest Hits, if you will, of the rape comments that have been made in the last year (with a bonus track from the 90s).


Again, I believe this is a vaj issue.  I would like to, in my silly little mind, think that Republican women hear things like this, think it's disgusting and say to the closest man wearing a tie "No seriously, shut the fuck up about rape for the sake of the party, at least".

My writing partner Kali came over last night to do some work, and as we were procrastinating and eating pizza we watched CNN essentially going over some of the things, including yesterday's gem, that has been terrifying women with any sense about them.

Bare in mind that Kali is single, childless, highly successful, Jewish, and in possession of a vagina.  I am loud mouth, for all intents and purposes Mexican, also in possession of a vagina.  This talk is starting to make her think that she is going to have horns glued to her head and it's starting to make me think I'm going to probably end up being burnt for witchcraft at some point.

I don't want to get into an abortion debate, but the argument being made for this comment (yes, there is one) is that he's simply stating his opinion that a life is a life is a life.

Here goes.  I am pro-choice.  And people who are pro-life, while I respect you, you need to start calling yourself pro-birth because most of you seem to want all babies to be born and then not give a shit about them once they are (we don't want to give that poor woman forced into having her 9th child money, after all, we want her to earn it).  And as I've said before - if I had been 16 and pregnant (ha! always the clown) maybe I would've had an abortion or maybe I would've been thoroughly disgusted by the very idea - it doesn't matter because regardless, there's no fucking way I would've told you what to do.

And PS, and possibly my greatest pro-choice argument, by making abortions illegal you are by no means stopping abortion.  YOU ARE STOPPING SAFE ABORTIONS.

The idea that we are pointing at other countries and fully understanding that the fact that they are run by religion instead of democracy, and hold their women (and other second class citizens) up to psychotic standards of taking-it-up-the-ass is wrong and the cause of a lot of grief, is awesome.  The fact that some of these people who thoroughly understand that about those 'others', those 'boogie' men, and then want to turn around and 'fix' this country by allowing it to be run by a particular religion and holding all citizens (believers or infidels) up to those standards is mind-boggling.

If I have to start referring to a certain weird section of America as the Tealiban to get my point across, so be it.

And for G-ds sake - anyone making the argument that our forefathers were Christians creating a Christian nation, read a book. Any book.



This shouldn't even be a religious or political issue.  This should be a batshit insane, get out of my vajayjay issue.

So basically,  women who do not want to have children and can't take care of them are going to have to have them (and get very little help once they do), women who need IVF will not be able to have them, and fuck the gays who are looking to adopt.

So for those of us keeping score - if you are physically able to have kids but totally irresponsible to take care of them, you are born Mothers and should accept G-ds gift.  If you are physically unable to have kids but are responsible, ready, and put more thought into it than a bottle of tequila could provide - sorry, you're screwed.  G-ds will, dontchaknow.

There are people (oh yes indeed) making the argument that this isn't even going to matter to some people because the real issue is the economy.

Not for me.

Frankly, I am fine financially, excellent in fact (and ps - having said that, I do not mind the tiniest bit paying extra taxes to help those who aren't, knowing full damn well that there's some people taking advantage simply because there are people who are not). I understand that jobs are a huge fucking problem and need to be looked at - but on a personal note?  I'll vote where gay rights are, because even if I agreed with a candidate everywhere else (and thankfully I don't) I have no business looking my best friend in the eye and telling him that my finances are more important than his entire life.  I will also be voting for my vagina and yours.

The idea that anyone is wasting any time redefining rape (and that they all seem to have a penis) in 2012 is fucking disgusting.

As women, we are violated far more often than these men can seem to understand.

Even if you have never been raped, the likelihood of you not knowing someone who has been is slim to none (whether you know it or not).  And even if you dodged that bullet, you live with it every day.  We check our backseats before we get into our car at night, shake in our boots when we walk to that car alone, deal with catcalls and aggressiveness, jump every time we hear a creak in our house.  You may not have been a victim of rape, but I guarandamntee you you have at least one daily habit that has become second nature that's sole purpose is avoiding rape.  The bravest of the brave of us have a regular fear that we live with.

I am thinking that a week in a maximum security prison may change these mens' tunes on rape, and do not tell me that if men were the ones who carried children we would even be discussing abortion.  As I read somewhere - there would be more abortion clinics than Starbucks.

This does not become a magical and G-d ordained experience simply if your rapists sperm meets up with your egg.  (And by the way, 31 states still allow, in that case, your rapist visitation rights).

So what makes women feel better about sexual assault in a world where it is an everyday fear to begin with? Why, redefining it, of course!  We've just been too strict and harsh with this concept, don't you agree?  It's nice to think that in this world there are both rapists and men who will view it in a soft light providing it results in conception.  That doesn't make me feel violated at all!

I would thoroughly appreciate it, old men stomping around in my uterus and making themselves comfy, if you could get stricter on rape instead of more lenient, stop associating it in any way with a miraculous child, and for chrissakes certainly don't bring G-d into it (again - Jesus. would be.  MORTIFIED).


Ahhhh... and PS - yesterdays big news items -
  1. Donald Trump offered 5 million dollars for the President to release his passport and college records (not racist at all!).
  2. Ann Coulter (who is essentially Rush Limbaugh but with a more pronounced Adam's apple) repeatedly called the President a retard and
  3. The rape hits just keep on coming
All coincided with a Holiday.  Can you guess what holiday it was?

Anyone?

National Bologna Day.  No shit.


(And if you haven't read it - a special needs gentleman responded to Ann Coulter in an open letter.  It is lovely and awesome, and does not have an ounce of the hostility that I have over her comments.. suffice it to say he could certainly teach me more than a thing or two).






119 comments:

  1. Thank you for this!I agree so much that I would double follow you if I could.

    Only minorly related: fried bologna biscuits are one of the few things I miss about being a full-fledged carnivore.

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    1. Stop everything. What in G-ds name is a fried bologna biscuit?! Is this something I should be investigating?!

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  2. Here, here! And good for you for being brave enough to hang it all out and take a stand, only solidifying my girl crush on you. :)

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    1. Jen, I vote for our vaginas & gay rights if for no other reason than for you & I to make it legal when we run away together.

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  3. I had the pro-life/pro-choice discussion (accidentally) while I was visiting last weekend. She is pro-life and very catholic and I am pro-choice and a lost catholic. I don't think she had any points of her side that could hold a candle to mine. Probably because mine were all fair points and her's were not!

    Also, I have a friend who had an abortion and underwent IVF several times who is a Mitt Romney supporter! WTF?! I don't even get how that is possible. I have asked her many times and I never get a straight answer as to why she supports someone who would like to take away women's freedoms?? I don't get it. I am curious to read all the comments you get from this post although I am suspecting that most ladies going through IF are more liberal with regards to women's rights.

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    1. Ohhh, I'm a bracing for the comments. Imma bracin'.

      But yes! You would think that we would all be at least liberal in the reproductive rights portion if for no other reason than we've all heard all about, and guffawed at the concept of 'g-ds will' being responsible for our ails.

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  4. The fact that this is on the agenda is so scary. And I love the parallel to the war you're in saving women yet what are you doing at home. I've got to say I am speechless. Thankfully religion and politics don't happen in Australia as most of us unashamedly admit we don't believe in it. How can they have said those things?

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    1. I do not know. A couple of years ago in a panic, people who disliked Obama voted in a lot of people who are a part of the 'tea party' which is a totally psychotic, not-to-be-confused-with-the-rational Republicans, section of that party that is just batshit out of their minds... So we've taken crazies and given them a microphone. good times.

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  5. I've been ready to scream over this... And I'm just throwing it out there... Perhaps they should be raped. Seriously, wtf is wrong with these people? I I can not believe that elected officials have the nerve to say these things. If a democrat said half the craziness try would be asked to step down. Aaahhh!! Makes me irate. Don't even get me started!

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    1. Right? Just a week or so in a maximum security prison, boys. That'll straighten your rape views right the fuck out.

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    2. Maybe they can sample rapes from the selections above? See which one suits them best. They shouldn't worry though, a little estrogen after will fix things.

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    3. I'mma tryin' to figure out how estrogen would even HELP in that situation... some of those quotes I was unaware of before I saw that meme but looked them up and yup, all accurate. Of course the defense to most is that we're 'overreacting'.

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    4. Paul Ryan is getting old and confused his hormones. It is a dose of progesterone that is used as the "morning after" pill. Good 'ole Paul Ryan.

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  6. I am scared for the USA. how can anyone see mitt as a good thing?! take it from the U.K. voting in a rich white guy with dubious morals on helping people is fucking insane.

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    1. I'm scared for us too.. So scared! The part I REALLY don't get is that it's clear Mr. Romney has a disdain for poor people, and yet the states here that are the poorest and use the most food stamps tend to vote Republican.

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    2. Can we make this comment a tv commercial?!! Quick it has to be tonight!

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  7. I've been raped. Sorry couldn't read all the way down through your blog post today. (rather a trigger moment I think you'll understand) I was ticked off to say it politely about what that aged man had to say but it was taken a bit out of context. I am in no way defending him but only defending our freedom to say any stupid thing we deem our listeners want to hear.

    The man is wrong about abortion laws. Romney doesn't support nor oppose the abortion laws out there nor has he stated he would go about changing them.

    With any president if we the people want our voices to be heard and put into law we must speak out in our own defense. We must make sure that laws prohibiting our rights are not put into action and are in fact vetoed. We have that power and we will be heard as a whole. Republican and Democrats, most women will agree when it comes to a pinching area of rape that if it was forced upon them they would want to choose even if they deny they would want an abortion they would at least give it a moments thought.

    I am a conservative and I am pro choice. Man has no business being up in my reproductive organs until he can carry the child himself.

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    1. Oh believe me, I understand what it's like for a victim to be exposed to all this garbage right now. It's disgusting.

      (Romney does seem to say now that he isn't familiar with an abortion law that he'd overturn.. but he's also said that he would love to see rvw overturned, and I'm especially nervous about him appointing supreme court justices because I can't imagine he'll appoint anyone pro-choice).

      Good on ya girl! you can be both conservative and pro-choice - that gives me hope! *Most* of the other conservative aspects (minus abortion, gay rights and apparently now rape) I can totally see having those views if I were a different person, and can have a rational discussion about them. It makes me physically ill the idea that there are women who are.. okay with what's being said right now. Again, you give me hope and make me less nervous!

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    2. When I talk to people about why I'm pro-choice I always say "I'm pro-choice NOT pro-abortion". I have no idea if I could bring myself to have an abortion, but i want the option for me, my best friend, my sister, my mother, my potential future daughters and any other woman out there. NO ONE should have to have a baby they don't want. And I think it's amazing that even as IF'ers so many of us are pro-choice. When I first "joined" this community I figured everyone would be pretty conservative about this. I'm so glad to be wrong about this.

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    3. I did too! I totally thought people would be more conservative.. My guess is that we get a teeny, tiny taste of what it's like for people to chime in with completely unasked for opinions on our reproductive life.

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    4. I didn't even think to mention that I'm pro marriage for everyone. I guess because of family and friends having "alternative lifestyles" that I've just become accustomed to treating them like I do everyone else like we all should since after all there is only one race...The Human Race. Equality for all. But I'm conservative because I don't like having so many damn laws regulating my behavior.

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  8. 100% agree with everything here... have you seen this video making the rounds today? Basically just Tina Fey railing on grey-faced dudes with $2 haircuts making rules about vaginas. :)

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/hillaryreinsberg/tina-fey-on-todd-akin-im-going-to-lose-my-mind

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    1. Holy crappola I freaking love that woman.

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  9. Ah, Stork. I love your political diatribes. They make my heart all warm and fuzzy.

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  10. I agree with everything you said. My husband and I have been seriously considering moving to Canada and if Romney wins, we just might. I keep telling people that its fine if you're mad at Obama & don't like him but at least pick a different candidate that isn't the devil in sheep's clothing.

    Is that even the right saying? Why would a devil hide in a sheep?

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    1. hahaha I think it's a wolf in sheep's clothing... Although Billy Eichner describes Rachael Ray as a demon trapped inside a goat... which is weirdly accurate.

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  11. This is why I'm an atheist. I think all religion should be eradicated. Then there would be less idiots around with these kinds of ideas

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    1. I am.. an agnostic theist. Which basically means I like to think there's some collective consciousness or some force that I'm unaware of, but I don't claim to know anything about it or why it is the way it is.

      But sweet merciful crap, I just wish people could see that even if your way seems 100% right to you and you're CONVINCED others would be happy if they thought the same, that there's no mother effing way you should impose it on others... Not to mention it's making religion seem super, duper unattractive and that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with G-d. Just nothing.

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  13. I couldn't have said this better myself! I've never even thought of this:

    "Even if you have never been raped, the likelihood of you not knowing someone who has been is slim to none (whether you know it or not). And even if you dodged that bullet, you live with it every day. We check our backseats before we get into our car at night, shake in our boots when we walk to that car alone, deal with catcalls and aggressiveness, jump every time we hear a creak in our house. You may not have been a victim of rape, but I guarandamntee you you have at least one daily habit that has become second nature that's sole purpose is avoiding rape. The bravest of the brave of us have a regular fear that we live with."

    and yet it couldn't make it more universal!

    And did you read this? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/27/tom-smith-rape_n_1834234.html

    And you forgot another very important piece of news yesterday....Stephen Colbert offered to donate $1 million of his super pac dollars to the charity of Trump's choice if he'll agree to let Stephen dip his balls in his mouth. Just brilliant! And just what they all need: a few dirty ball sacks in their mouths.

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    1. I need to make a FB post out of this in order to educate the masses. May I quote you?

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    2. I freaking love Stephen Colbert & John Stewart (literally cannot wait for the daily show tonight).

      Of course you can quote me you lovely, lovely woman.

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    3. And Oh my G-d.. I had NOT heart that.. how in G-ds name was that not covered more? Similar to out of wedlock - SERIOUSLY?!??

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    4. I'm doing this too, Jenn!!!!

      Thanks Jenny. ;)

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    5. I am laughing so hard at Colbert's response that there are tears streaming down my face! I LOVE IT!

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  14. Hellz yeah!

    I can't believe I haven't found your blog until now. Happy ICLW!

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    1. So glad I am getting positive comments.. Happy ICLW to you as well, senora!

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  15. I looooove every. fricken. word.

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  16. Oh my oh my, this is madness. I thought it was bad over here recently when our health minister said he would support lowering the legal abortion limit from 24 to 14 weeks because of his religious beliefs. The outcry was massive (thank goodness). And that is nothing compared to what is going on over there. I can't really believe the backward slide. What were the sufferegettes fighting for? Come on ladies, don't let it happen! Like arwen says, rich conservative men, not so good at representing us.

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    1. Plus they don't have a uterus. WHY are the men the only ones seeming to talk about this?!?

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    2. I'm praying it doesn't get any worse over there, Em! I swear we've jumped back 50 years in just one!!!! :(

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  17. Shaking in my boots to type this..I am prolife. Out of the shittiest circumstances, sometimes comes something/someone really awesome. Sometimes IF makes a marriage stronger. Sometimes people get really sick and learn how wonderful it is to live. Sometimes for whatever reason a baby gets conceived in a rape situation. It is not the baby's fault, neither the woman's fault. The baby is still a miracle and innocent. All lives are valuable.

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    1. Don't shake in your boots! I'm normally far less scary, promise.

      If I were in a situation where I had conceived in that exact scenario, maybe I would be equally disgusted at the idea of getting an abortion. Where I differ is, I wouldn't want to impose my own opinion on a woman who had been assaulted. We will agree to disagree. ;)

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    2. Stork, you are great! (I read your blog all the time.) I agree with you, when it comes down to imposing my beliefs on anyone else, I am not into that. Anyways, thanks for being so kind.

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  18. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Oh no, not Em vomit again. Blogger hates me. Now it looks like I wrote something really rude, he he!

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    2. Don't pretend I didn't just delete several comments of your hateful spewing. ;)

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    3. I did suddenly think, oh my, what if I blacked out for a moment and subconsciously wrote a terribly offensive rant! Ha ha.

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  19. I love ALL of this. If any of those f*ckers in your chart get elected/re-elected I will poop myself.

    Oh and uterine elves? HA HA HA HA HA.

    Recently my husband learned he can give to charities pre-tax through work so he picked a few. One of the ones he picked? Planned Parenthood. I WAS SO PROUD.

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    1. I am already pooping myself. This whole out of nowhere I-thought-we-covered-this-a-bajillion-years-ago rape discussion is certainly an excellent laxative.

      HOLY ISH. I'M SO PROUD OF YOUR HUSBAND.

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  20. I looooove this and I love you! Like so much. Likes kisses and nipple tweaks aren't enough. You are seriously so amazingly freaking awesome!!!!!

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    1. Hahaha - thank you! I freaking dig me some nipple tweaks and that is a scientific fact.

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  21. Amazing. As I've said-we are the same person.

    I hate when some of these dumb ass men say things insinuating that a woman's behavior or dress brings the rape on. It makes me want to say (nay scream) to them "so are you and all men just one giant penis walking around looking for something to fuck?!? Is that all you are?!"

    It makes me so. mad. And for that matter, bastards like Paul Ryan want to end ALL abortions-even in medical circumstances. So if I have an ectopic pregnancy I just have to die, and so do you. That's God's fucking will. Bullshit. I've been to methodist church most of my life and I can tell you this much-MY God would not want me to die that way. MY God would want someone to help me-because he loves me. Period.

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    1. Exactly! Exactly. My friend posted a link to this on her facebook page - here's the page that has it, it's the latest post they have up as of this moment:

      https://www.facebook.com/romneybindersfullofwomen

      Anyhoo, it basically points out how rape is the one crime where the victim is often REPEATEDLY asked questions to verify that they weren't.. asking for it.

      And oh lawdy, I am not an atheist, I am an agnostic.. but I have to say, these people, if they're trying to point out that religion is the way to go.. They are FAILING. If anything these beliefs make them seem SO far away from G-d I can't imagine being much further.

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  22. Amen and amen!

    For the record, I consider myself a fairly conservative Christian (who cusses like a sailor from time to time) and I am pro-choice. Yes, some of us actually exist in this world.

    Every time I hear or read of another politician claiming God's will as it applies to my uterus I want to slap him/her up the side of the head. Particularly as it applies to rape. There is absolutely nothing about a pregnancy that is the result of rape that is 'God's will'. Just as you don't want to open up the abortion debate, I don't want to get all theological, BUT... God does not intend for bad things to happen to any of us. However, he can and does work good out of evil. (Case in point: My existance is the result of date rape. My bio-mom was 17, and forced to marry her rapist. Is it any wonder the marraige didn't last? Because of the time frame and the way our society viewed abortion in the early 1970s, it wasn't an option for her... at least not safely. Am I thankful that she didn't abort me? Of course. Do I think that God has worked good in and through me? Yes, undoubtedly. BUT... Do I believe that she should have had the choice and not have been forced into an abusive marraige? Hell yes!)

    My ultimate opinion on all of this... Until my government (I'm Canadian) or yours starts legislating the contents of every man's scrotum, they can stay the hell away from my uterus. And even then, they'd have a very difficult time convincing me that they had any right to even be thinking about my vajayjay.

    *stepping down from my soapbox

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    1. Yay for cursing and yay for being pro-choice!

      I'm not the product of any kind of rape, but I am the very accidental product of a 14 year old girl getting it on, and my biological father was certainly a criminal. I agree wholeheartedly with you - of course I'm glad she had me (and put me up for adoption - and for the record, had I ended up in the system there's no part of me that would've thought 'thank G-d I'm in foster care and not with a loving gay couple') but nooooo way do I think that choice shouldn't have been hers to make.

      Your soap box is a good one, lovely.

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  23. Thanks for posting this...everything you wrote are thoughts in my head right now (except for the witty comments b/c I'm not just that witty!), but the meat of what you are saying is how I feel. I am so sick and tired of old men terrorizing women with these remarks. Check out this post I saw on the "Binders Full of Women" FB page...I do not wish to live in a society where rape is normalized!!!! http://www.marshall.edu/wpmu/wcenter/sexual-assault/rape-culture/

    And I am still waiting for a woman in a powerful political position to put out an add combatting these men...Elizabeth Warren perhaps?

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    1. Ha! I JUST posted a link to something that came off that page that paints the same thing - here it's the last post on the page right now:

      https://www.facebook.com/romneybindersfullofwomen

      It is DISGUSTING that this seems to be an ongoing conversation among MEN (seriously? who asked them to try to 'figure out' something that was figured out a long time ago?) and we SO need more women speaking out against this.

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  24. Dude this was awesome! I think the part about his statement that actually bothered me the most was "I struggled with it myself for a long time." REALLY?!?! You struggled with a theoretical situation that could never possibly affect you in the least... that you can't possibly comprehend because you have all the wrong equipment... and yet you made a judgement about how a woman should respond based on your religious beliefs. Last I checked this was America bub.

    Oh, and let's not forget to mention that Paul Ryan introduced a federal personhood bill. THAT should strike fear into the hearts of infertile women. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/11/paul-ryan-personhood_n_1767760.html

    The Akin thing still freaks me out. I'm from MO... they voted a dead guy into the Senate. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Carnahan

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    1. That part bothered me as well, oh yessss indeed.

      At first I had only heard the part of the quote that I used in this post - and people were saying (as usual) 'it was taken out of context'. And I thought - oh Good! Thank G-d! Maybe the words were completely mixed up and there's a bunch of stuff missing! So I watched the full clip.

      Nope, I don't feel better... Do not feel better.

      Don't even get me started on the personhood bill. We would all be screwed (including, mind you, some of Mitt's children who suffer from infertility).

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  25. UNFOLLOW.

    Bahahahaha, just kidding.

    My bologna has a first name, it's F-U-C-K-OFF of my vag. Don't even get me STARTED on how absolutely BATSHIT these discussions are. And I'm sorry, I know that there are sane, rational people who say that they are "fiscally conservative" and are voting for Romney for this that and the other bullshit reason, but I have news for them: Romney will say ANYTHING for a vote. Including, oh, I dunno, LIE? During the Republican primary, Romney said this (and I pulled this quote DIRECTLY from the video of him saying this, so it's not bullshit, conservative women reading this comment thinking she'll vote for Romney because he now doesn't vocally oppose abortion laws) Romney said, and I QUOTE:
    "Do I believe the supreme court should overturn Roe v. Wade? Yes." So, gee, you think this guy is in favor of our abortion rights? I've got another little secret for everyone. Romney himself may decide to be impartial to the whole abortion "thing" but you know what he WILL do? He'll appoint 3 or 4 Supreme Court judges who WILL overturn RvW, and guess who's fucked now? I could go on all day about this, but I won't. I just implore anyone voting for Romney to THINK first. THINK.

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    1. Another gem I just found...
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZCovd42SRw&feature=player_embedded

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    2. I knew you'd be done with me.. I knew it!

      It is so freaking scary, Sunny - so very, very scary. And you know - I genuinely think there are people who don't understand the basics of how the supreme court works, much less the incoming President's role with them or how much stuff could get TOTALLY FUCKED UP because of it.

      Not to mention - again, if we outlaw abortions we're not stopping abortions we're stopping SAFE abortions. Long ago before RvW there were women using coat hangers and hurling themselves down stairs.

      Delete
    3. I keep thinking that if Romney wins, those few super old justices are just going to have to take one for the team and NOT DIE until a Democrat or at least a sane republican is back in office.

      Delete
  26. This is the part where I started choking on my fiesta lime rice because I was laughing so hard: "By an adorable growing baby with Bub's brains and my wit? No. By hundreds of tiny decrepit aging white men in suits and invariably red ties. They have crawled up there in the middle of the night like little uterine elves, raised up an American flag."

    I have to laugh because if I didn't, I would be weeping over everything that has come out of those old mens' mouths this election.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laugh to keep from crying, right? Laugh to keep from crying.

      It is so HORRIFYING that these is even coming up and there are actually people in this country who don't find this.. off-putting.

      And the crazy thing is they keep bringing it up! What's next? Discussing how many goats a man owes you in exchange for your daughter?

      Delete
  27. Thank you for saying this.

    I've lost track of how many times I've started writing a rant about how the Christian right in the US hates women, only to delete it because 1) I get so rage-y that everything comes out as an incoherent string of expletives and 2) it probably looks strange for a Canadian to be so emotionally caught up in another country's election. But, fuck. How can any woman - anywhere - not be completely enraged by this shit? How can any self-respecting woman vote for these a-holes? How can they buy into this hateful, misogynistic bullshit? Frankly, if anyone stops following me because I believe that women deserve to be treated like intelligent, fully-functional beings who are more than capable of making their own decisions, well....good riddance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I will happily accept being unfollowed over something so... ludicrous. I like to think that it pisses everyone off and I'd much rather someone avoid bursting my bubble by losing track of my blog.

      Ohhh it takes me a loooooooot to not end up cursing public about this on a daily basis. (And I keep the expletives because I think they're the only adjectives that can come close to describing how... fucked this all is).

      Delete
  28. holy shitty shits, how did i not know about your blog?! you are hilarious and this is an awesome entry.

    ps - i donate $100 to the local planned parenthood of every candidate or politician who says something stupid about rape or abortion and i donate IN HONOR OF THEM. so they get a cute little letter from PP that says $100 was donated in their name. bherhahahahaha!!!!!!!!! i love thinking about how red their staffers faces must get:))))))))))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha that is freaking brilliant!

      Delete
    2. This we should all do. What a brilliant idea.

      Delete
    3. This really is brilliant!! I'm down.

      Delete
  29. Agree 100%. And besides most economists agree, the president has almost no effect on the economy. But they do have do have the ability to erode our personal liberties (patriot act?!?!). Personal freedoms should by the ONLY issue people consider while voting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed! What little the government can do financially is at a standstill because some people aren't able to work together.

      Personal liberties/civil rights? I can't even believe we have to DISCUSS this nonsense anymore. It's an absolute waste of time - and even if I were an independent voter, they're making it impossible to look at this situation strictly on who is going to make more jobs because this utter nonsense completely disqualifies them (in my opinion) from even being considered.

      Delete
  30. I seriously don't understand how so many extremist backward lunatics hold political power in this country. I do not understand it. My brain hurts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't either. And part of why I wrote this with a fuck it be pissed if you must attitude is because the lunatics are always the LOUDEST.

      I mean seriously - do you ever read comments online on articles? These people can't even spell and they're the ones writing shit all the time.

      Delete
  31. I LOVE THIS....as a wife of a conservative, I get into disagreements all the time about these men who make these comments and vow to take away our right to procreate with ART and what not...It sometimes gets heated....but this..this is beautiful...I think I'll be sharing this one again with my hubs....he really seems to like your writing and how well you get the message across...maybe I can get him to change his mind...or at least get him to think a little more...

    I agree with who ever it was above who said they are pro-choice not pro-abortion....i agree every woman has the right to choose...whether or not I could choose if I were in that situation is unknown...I agree my choices and beliefs shouldn't be pushed on anyone else...

    I wish I had half as much passion about this as you do....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should be! You should be scared, and you should be angry. Say bye bye to ART, say bye bye women having a right to choose, and should they succeed in making abortion illegal, our 'hand-outs' as they call them will INCREASE. There is no way out of that without making a shit ton of homeless people. Plus, without allowing the gays to adopt everywhere, all these people forced to give up kids they didn't want in the first place will be flooding the adoption circuit and many of them will end up in foster care.

      Get angry! Get passionate!

      Delete
  32. Well said! I really would like all these old dudes to get out of my lady parts. I did have some random spotting a few weeks ago. Was that the uterine elves raising their flag?
    I am both confused and terrified by what they keep saying. I am actually left speechless by most of it. They did, however, inspire me to take some action and now I volunteer for Planned Parenthood. At least now I feel like I am doing something, however small it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really have to get involved with planned parenthood. Really. I do not know why I haven't done this.

      Delete
  33. Replies
    1. hahaha! Oh I am waaaay too honest (whether I want to be or not) and am only psychotically passionate about the social issues, really. ;)

      Delete
  34. I love this so much I want to eat the post up.

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  35. I couldn't agree more.

    The words that have come out of white conservative male politicians' mouths this year relating to rape have been just mind-boggling. These men are bringing SHAME to their country in the eyes of the world - that's clear to me every time I see international news coverage of these ridiculous statements. The US is becoming [even more of] a laughingstock, and the political leadership is losing [even more] respect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh believe me, they have brought plenty o shame to me. I'm as proud an American as the next guy - but the whole 'we should never be sorry about anything' pisses me off. It's like those parents who defend their kids when they're being bullies - you can love your kid and still tell them when they're being an asshole. And we are suffering from an asshole infestation.

      Delete
  36. You are my hero. I wish that I had your way with words and the courage to express myself this way to more people! Last election, I had to educate my mother, (who is amazing, beautiful, and brilliant, don't get me wrong) a public middle school educator, what a vote for the GOP meant to her job. It made me really sad. So many intelligent people follow in the footsteps of their parents' political parties and views (my grandparents, in this case), because it was shoved down their throats so much throughout their lives. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh that terrifies me. I read some of the comments people leave on news articles - and some of them are adults who are unintelligent, and some of them are adults who are intelligent but just freaking hostile. A lot of them, however, seem to have absolutely no idea what they're really talking about but just know that they're supposed to hate whoever they've been told to hate.

      Delete
  37. You know what? We should take away all of their Viagra. They should just welcome what God intended.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It would also, I'm guessing, bring some ladies some much deserved peace.

      Delete
  38. WOW, I am stunned. I knew about some of the completely ass-hat comments being made about "legitimate rape" and whatnot and I loved Obama's remark about how men shouldn't be making decisions about women's bodies, but I had never heard about "easy rape" or "enjoyable rape". I'm glad that I can still be shocked about such statements because it proves that I haven't accepted them as just part of the status quo. I am Canadian so I can't vote against such views, but I also feel that the candidates views on women is the number 1 issue. I love your post and agree with it 100%

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is stunning, that's for damn sure.. and what kind of repulses me is some people saying that we are 'over reacting'. No no. It wouldn't matter a hill of beans to me whether this was a Republican saying it, a Democrat saying it, or some crazy man at the bus stop saying it.. It's wrong, and we should be even angrier than we have been because otherwise it's just saying 'you can violate us physically or with words, and we'll take it'.

      Delete
  39. Yes. 100%. Every single thing you said = my thoughts exactly.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award!! Check it:http://amandaandkennethgriswold.blogspot.com/2012/10/liebster-blog-award.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww shucks! If I loved you any more I'd be all up in your lady bits.

      Delete
  41. OMG I COULD NOT AGREE MORE!! And you have such a talent for explaining it all. I feel like you need to be in charge of something, like with Resolve or somewhere in DC!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha you are such a sweetheart. Nah, I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking. It's a loud mouth syndrome. ;)

      Delete
  42. Just wanted to let you know that I also nominated you for the Liebster Blog Award :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Replies
    1. And a hallelujah to you my sister in angry-lady-bits

      Delete
  44. Well put, Storkiest of Storks. The letter you linked to re the Ann Coulter comment was so, so very brilliant - that dude is freaking awesome. He needs to be nominated for the fucking Nobel Prize or whatever it is we give truly awesome people these days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. That guy is hella awesome.. Maybe we should donate money to the special olympics after seeing that...

      Delete
  45. This stupidity om the part of our elected representatives was what led to the formation of Government Free VJJ...a movement to send knit or crocheted uteruses to them because, maybe if they had their own, they would leave ours alone.

    I have a picture of the one I made HERE.


    ICLW #74 Dragondreamer's Lair

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just left a comment over on your post but that is BADASS. I SOOOO want to get involved in that, but I don't know anything about crocheting or knitting! Must. Get. Someone. To. Teach. Me.

      Delete
  46. How did I miss this post. I love you!!!! You rock!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. I've been living in a dark pit while battling one reproductive catastrophe after another. However my defunct ute and faulty chromosomes insisted I come out of hiding to read your post. And I must say, it was worth the trip.

    Bravo to you Ms Stork, well said! If you lost any followers, know that you've gained a few back. Quality over quantity, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Precisely! Quality over quantity, indeeed.

      And PS - I aim to get you evicted out of that dark pit.

      Delete
  48. I just love you. xxxxx

    Lisa (the former lurker)

    ReplyDelete
  49. Dammit I already voted for a repeat, but if I could have my ballot back I would write your name in.

    I could write a huge comment but in the end it would just say that I agree with you 100%.

    I vote for women, gays, and my mentally retarded sister. And if they ever decide to take away a basic human right from stingy old white men I will stand up for them too. (Ok I *might* make them sweat it a little bit)

    ReplyDelete
  50. HALLELUJAH! I don't know how I missed this post before but thank you for it! How any woman can vote for any GOP candidate is beyond me (I can't stand those "Moms for Mitt" groups - ugh!).

    Don't know if you've read this but it is very, very powerful. I wish everyone in America would read it: http://www.newyorker.com/talk/comment/2012/10/29/121029taco_talk_editors.

    I will be voting for the candidate who promotes social justice, tolerance, and equality.

    ReplyDelete
  51. you are my hero. seriously. thank God for Tams for allowing me to read this, this morning. and yes, I am a Christian but am completely against anyone telling anyone how they ought to live their life. this is the reason why i'll be voting for my current president again today. the economy? please. i'm fine financially and so are many others. the social issues are issues that we would hope we wouldn't be dealing with in todays age and since we are we have to vote these suckers out!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Awesome, awesome, awesome. I am generally not one for using profanity to express a point, but all I think when I read those ignorant rape comments is "batshit crazy." So I think you're pretty f-ing eloquent. :) You've gained a reader here.

    ReplyDelete