Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Great Pumpkin

It.  Is.  Tuesday.

My week thus far has not exactly been a musical montage of jumping in leaves, wearing a charmingly pointed witches hat and eating all things caramel and pumpkin.

I am writing to you in the following state:

  1. I went a glorious week without jaw problems.. this morning was out running errands, I yawned, and now it has unhinged itself again.
  2. Fairly certain Bubba the Magnificent and his unstoppable German immune system have quietly brought me home some sort of bug
  3. My Aunt this morning was having surgery, and something went wrong.  No idea of any details except my Mom is rushing home from two hours away and they've transferred my Aunt to a different hospital.
So I am hovering over this computer ready to change clothes and run if need be, sans ability to speak and a scratchy throat to boot.

That's right ladies, Stork is bringing you autumn cheer live and in HD.

Not so much.

Confession:  I am normally made entirely out of claymation between October and January, an obnoxiously positive toy from the Island of Misfits.  I love Halloween, I love Thanksgiving, I love Christmas.

I thought it was the weather, maybe, but other than a slightly higher intake of horror movies, I haven't really been into it so far this year.

So not into it, in fact, that Bubba - who is not a holiday man - had to say to me this weekend "shouldn't we have more decorations?  Maybe a pumpkin?"

I would be lying if I said it was just the weather that has me a little less appreciative.  I get hundreds - if not an even thousand - of trick-or-treaters.  No exaggeration.

So last year and even more so the year before, when there was a never-ending parade of small, waddling children dressed up as various animals, I thought 'oh this is so cute - I can't wait to do this with my kids... by this time next year I'll at least be pregnant'.

This year, more than likely, my internal response to the child-safari will be "Great, this is scary.  I will spend the rest of my life handing out candy to other people's kids in a witches hat until eventually I'll be so old and alone the witch rumors will be real and year-round."

Sure, I have my zombie woman on my front porch, I finally gave in and bought a pumpkin today, and my dogs will be dressed as a pig and a skunk.  And while skunk & pig are adorable and I love them to a psychotic, psychotic degree, they're not exactly tricking me into thinking I'm a Mom.

Much like Lionus in the Great Pumpkin, I stupidly think every year that if I show enough faith, things will change.  One more year and I'll have my Great Pumpkin belly.  The ever-elusive reward for my patience will show up, and my holidays won't be ruined.  Every year I think it'll be it, and it turns out to be another year of dogs in costumes. Every year it's a little worse, and every year I have to dust myself off and say 'next year will be different'.


My lovelies, I have so much to catch up on.

To those who nominated me for a bloggy award - a hearty smooch to your behind, I'm gonna get on it.

I am 10 million years behind on writing prompts so prepare to get WAY too much Storky information in one day.

I'm gonna post a scary story of mine for Halloween.  Yes indeed.

And I am sooooo thrilled that I got so many props for the entry I did on Thursday.  I'm a quasi-brave person but I was nervous to write anything political!  Thankfully my pissed side overpowered my chicken side... But I thought it was awesome how many people are thinking the same thing ( we need to be louder about it, girls) and even those who disagreed disagreed on only some aspects and did it very kindly.  Warms my frightened uterus right up.

May your Great Pumpkins be here by next year.


42 comments:

  1. :) I had the same sentiment last night when I was carving our pumpkin... like, isn't this something only parents are supposed to be doing? Is it really weird/creepy that two childless adults are handing out candy and decorating their front porch and wishing they could purchase a sushi costume they've had bookmarked on Firefox for two goddamn years for their non-existent baby?? (see: http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/baby-nigiri-sushi-costume/)

    Sigh. Next year, for sure.

    Hoping your aunt is OK... hang in there.

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    1. OMG. That costume literally gives me cramps.

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  2. Maybe that is why I have done exactly nothing this year for Halloween. Didn't really realize but this time last year I was busily learning how to sew in preparation for making my baby costumes. This year I'm making new chair covers because the cats have not submitted and allowed me to costume them. Sad indeed. I look forward to tons of Stork in my reader as you catch up on your prompts.

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    1. Thankfully my cat is finally fat enough to fit in a small dog devil costume.. Although this makes the actual dogs a tad too curious.

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  5. I am like you, I used to be crazy for the holidays. last year I let the sad get me but this year I refuse. I am going to get festive if it kills me. I have decided not to buy any gifts or cards. I am making everything, and I am hosting my first Christmas. I am sorry your week is no as claymationy as usual. Best wishes for your aunt and a huge hug for you x x x

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    1. See last year I was fiiiiine up until Christmas - and it surprised me that I got sad. I'm a little nervous that I seem to have the poo-poos at all, much less so early.

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  6. One year a woman came to my place with her baby belly painted like a pumpkin. Not sure what I thought of that except..."aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating?".

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  7. I hate you blogger. Stop vomiting on storks blog. You are making me look bad and embarrassing yourself.

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    1. hilarious. this made me laugh. thanks for that!

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    2. Don't feel bad EmHart....I seem to be having a similar problem with blogger posting my comments multiple times...though this comment made me laugh!

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    3. Oh but Em... I love it so. because now that I deleted the comment copies people skimming through will think "what offensive stuff did em post that I miss?" Quit bullying me.

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  8. Oh my dear dear stork, I am totally in the same boat as you. I have not one pumpkin and Hubster put out a few of my fall decorations because I just don't feel it. I, too, thought I would at LEAST be preggy right now. Sigh. I think this holiday season is gonna be quite different than any i've ever experienced before. I'm sending my love to you and your fam. Let us know how things go with your aunt. And I can't til you catch up your prompts. I'm especially excited to see your just-woke-up morning look. ;)

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    1. Haha you shouldn't be excited! You should be frightened.

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    2. no, no sweet thang. I'll stay EXCITED.

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  9. I'm not into the holidays either. Perhaps it is because it is 99 degrees out here. Who celebrates Halloween when it is 99 degrees? Not this girl. As for all those adorable children, well, I have a lot of gay people and old people, but not so many little people. I think I am safe this year.

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    1. I am, unfortunately, in Halloween central. This would be wonderful if I wasn't practically barren. And this weather is BULL SHIT. We were doing pretty good and then all of a sudden it's 80 something again? Is it Halloween at all if you don't have to wear a coat over your costume?

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  10. Yep another sour face here! I LOVE christmas, halloween not so much-Sorry! But christmas and bonfire night is like crack to me, but for the last 2 years I have just not felt it. I would lie to myself and say that this year will be different, but with ivf2 starting in Jan, there will be no drowning my sorrows in a bottle of baileys-boo!

    Sending lots of love and well wishes to your aunt and also to you and your family.

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    1. Aw, c'mon, surely the fertiles shouldn't be the only ones allowed to get pre-conception drunk. ;)

      thank you, lovely.

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  11. I hope your aunt will be ok.

    Holidays without children (if one wants them) suck. I know dogs aren't the same as kids, but they're still life savers at this time of year. Mine will be a caterpillar and Chippendale's dancer. I'll share pictures if that will cheer you up.

    Next year will be better. I promise! Money back guarantee!

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    1. A Chippendale's dancer?!? What in the world?!? Pictures, YES, pictures.

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  12. Kinda liking your blog...new follower :) I have two blogs going in tandem - feeling like I am on the IF fence. Recently divorced (over a year) new relationship, a surprise +hpt followed by a loss and trying not to let my 6+ years of IF cloud my vision for a happier future. Most days I don't know if I am coming or going. Question - have you been tested for PCO ovaries or PCOS - I ask because like you, I had irregular periods until metformin, now they are like clockwork. Wishing you lots and lots of luck on your journey. My blogs are: babystepstomotherhood.com and learn2pivot@blogspot.com.

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    1. Greetings, new person!

      Indeed I have suspected PCOS.. Unfortunately Metformin made me all kinds of crazy and didn't do much uterine-wise. :(

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  13. Hugs to you m'darlin. Holidays are so difficult. I totally know what you mean about watching the years pass and our uti get emptier and emptier. I bought this ADORABLE baby onesie a couple years ago right after Ken and I started TTC. I knew our baby would be wearing it the next year. Nope. Didn't happen. It didn't happen this year either. Praying that next year at Halloween time we both will be sporting babies. Now. I send you a big kiss for your face.

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  14. OMG! I had this awesome comment all written out and now it's all gone! SO MAD!

    I'm the Halloween Queen. I love October and horror movies. I love costumes and trick or treating even if I'm 37 years old (and yes I still dress up and go, but I have my nephews as an excuse....this year I have Raegan) I get caught up in being 12 all over again from October 1- December 31. I love it all, although my decorations for thanksgiving are lacking. This year I was so excited I couldn't wait. Then everything just kept going wrong. And now I'm just not feeling it as much. I feel you..

    I so want you to have your pumpkin belly....and when you get it I can't wait because I have this totally awesome fabulous halloween themed gift for you.

    I'm sorry you're not feeling well...I hope you get over it all soon. I am praying for your aunt and keeping your family in my thoughts. I'm sending you hugs and love and some good ol' fashioned booty pats!

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    1. Agreed - why aren't there more Thanksgiving decorations? Or movies for that matter?

      I'm doing well in the horror movie department.. at least I've kept that part of the Halloween spirit up (kids are usually bad omens in horror movies, dontchaknow).

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    2. snorting here....i recently took care of a patient named DAMIEN....yeah...just given that name is dangerous....kids in horror flicks...never a good thing...EVER!

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  15. Nothing like the holidays to make people feel depressed. I hope you try enjoy the positives of them.

    This is my first Halloween. It's not a holiday we celebrate in Oz but its slowly picking up momentum. I've always been very anti Halloween (it's an American holiday I'm not big on how Americanized our society is getting) but this year I've given in to peer pressure. I'm going out tonight and dressing up. But at this stage I still refuse to allow trick or treaters come looking for lollies at my house. I bet by the time I have kids Halloween will be just as big here as it is in the US

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    1. Ohhh but it's less about countries and more about monsters & ghosts & all that fun shenanigans. And my favorite was in Mexico we had day of the dead on Nov 1st - spending the night in cemeteries and dressing up like skeletons. ::sigh:: I miss, I miss.

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  16. I moved to the country (I'm about an hour and a half out of Melbourne for y'all who know where that is) and thought I was safe from Halloween... then heaps of houses were built all around me and families with armies of children moved in. *sigh*. But I don't eat lollies or chocolate so the best they're gonna get from me is a yoghurt or some deli olives maybe. And a lecture on how we should celebrate Day of the Dead instead of Halloween too because it sounds freaking awesome. meantime... I thought I was turning evil and bitter and twisted at not enjoying Christmas anymore because it was a big reminder for me that I don't have a baby yet and everyone else does. so thanks Stork. I feel a whole lot more normal now.

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  17. We get crap tons of trick-or-treaters too... at least we used to. Now the whole neighborhood is afraid of my dog, and shuns us in turn. I'm hoping that works in our favor this year.

    Not that I'm becoming bitter or anything. :)

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  18. I am sooooo not feeling the holidays this year. The best I could muster for Halloween was going to Dia de los Muertos at Hollywood Forever Cemetary. But I am not dressing up or carving pumpkins and I don't have to worry about trick-or-treaters in my neighborhood (however, I made plans to go to my aunt's house tomorrow forgetting it was halloween and she does get trick-or-treaters. oh well). I am considering avoiding Thanksgiving and Christmas altogether, partly because I am depressed as I really expected to be pregnant this year after 2 IVF's and partly to avoid the pregnant relatives and new babies. My younger cousins are starting to pop out babies like crazy now. Ugh. Maybe I need to put together some sort of child-free Thanksgiving.

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  19. Some day I WILL be able to wear that X-ray maternity shirt with skeleton baby inside. Be it Halloween or not! For now I will dress up my cats.

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  20. Yup..I love Halloween so much...I literally beg kids from the street to come in our house...umm yeah crazy lady. Nothing this year..no costume...nothing. Last year I was Siouxsie and the hubs was Robert Smith...yay nothing. I got no love for it. I can't wait for your scary post!!!!

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  21. Oh, is it Halloween? I hadn't noticed. Perhaps one of these days I will crawl out of my pit. But not today. Not today.

    I hope you and your aunt see significant amount of recovery very soon. xo

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  22. Last year we had almost 200 costumed kids ring our bell. I was getting up and down off the couch constantly to go tend to them, and it seriously interrupted my drinking. This year? We're skipping town to Santa Barbara and leaving a candy bowl out for the greedy little bastards. I totally feel ya on not being in as festive a mood this year. Is there any child free Christmasy type activity or fun spot in LA that we could find? The Grove may want to make me drop kick an elf.

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  23. The truth in this makes me sad. IF and loss takes so much away from us. It's not just living without a baby, it's losing the joy of passing out candy on Halloween, it's weakening your friendship with fertiles, it's causing you to hate your Facebook newsfeed. I'll be thinking of you tonight, buddy. Luckily, we don't really get trick or treaters. That's something to be thankful for, I guess.

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  24. Pig and skunk ... love.

    I'm sorry for all that's invading your holiday vim and vigor. One year, my dear, things will change. May that year arrive soon. In the meantime, big hugs - to your family too.

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