Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Sleeping with and Mourning Celebrities

Wicked Wednesday my witchy wombats!

So, Monday I had sort of a rough trip down to see my Grandparents - my normally very feisty Gma isn't doing so great.  She had a bit of a fall a few weeks ago and now seems a trifle bit confused (and not in the usual charming way) so that got the wheels turning a bit.

And then, on the 90 minute trip home my car, who in car-years is as about as old as my Grandma, kept getting butt-raped by SUVs.  Let me assure you I am not a slow driver, though I have my limits - on the open highway, I do 80 maybe 85.  If 85 is to slow for you in the stop-and-start L.A. traffic, then I hope you have an eject button and a parachute.

And may I point out that under any other circumstance people would know that tailgating is inappropriate. For example, if I were in a bar and slightly apprehensive, nervous, and a little cautious, nothing would give me confidence quite like a stranger angrily pressing their front side against my backside.

So imagine my delight when I arrived home and had a package from the fantastic little sister-in-law, Bubella. I tell you - being adopted, if you count the biologicals and the sister-in-law, I technically have 4 siblings (sidenote - any of them could legally marry each other) and oddly enough she is by far the one I'm closest to and have the most in common with.  It's as though G-d/Zeus/Bea Arthur said "not only will I give you a soulmate, I will give you a sister-mate that he'll bring you".  So this brightened my day up significantly:


Yes folks, it is a button that says "I slept with John Lennon", and you should absolutely think of me any time someone says hooker. 

So now I am left with the task of coming up with a small, inappropriate gift for a badass 16 year old girl.  Seriously contemplated sending her her first vibrator, but am terrified that her parents would be greeted from a long day at work by a vibrating package.  So any thoughts/suggestions are appreciated.

This button is also honey-colored, which was one of my overdue photo prompts from the lovely EmHart, who I wish was a hooker.

On the subject of photo prompts and odd shopping excursions, today Mr. T and I went to lunch and then stopped off at a Marshalls.  (Mr. T's surgery has left him temporarily mute, and it was an odd experience having people look at me as though I had a heart of gold for having a deaf/mute friend.  And possibly also thinking that that was the only type of friend that can stand me).  

I am trying to make over my living room with some light touches.  I bought some candles that will make it smell like autumn, and I am done, d-o-n-e with the throw pillows I normally have on my couch.  They're from the upper part of the rainbow (my least favorite color scheme) and have taken a beating from the fur-chidlren.  So I bought some new ones today (which are in part, blue, my other missing photo prompt).

Now I don't want my couch-pillows to look like bed-pillows, but I would like them to say "sit and watch tv, or have a nap, or get it on with the Bettie Page like vixen who obviously lives here".  Thoughts?


And last but not least, I am left with the 'morning' prompt.  Now the aforementioned seriously-name-your-price EmHart mentioned the other day that as I clean to Harry Belafonte, she cleans to Michael Jackson.

Fast forward to this afternoon, and I'm going through old photos on my computer to clear up some space.  Back in 2009, when Mr. Jackson passed away, Bubba and I lived very close to "the Jackson Compound" (why do they call it this?  Are they planning some sort of revolt?).  So the morning after he died we walked over to their street to see the mourning... So I give you some pictures I took, that are taking up space on my hard drive.

The end of their street:


I've seen large press events in my life, but never like this - 


This is to the side of their driveway - can't even tell you how many people were in the little neighborhood.  Presumably those are Jacksons pulling up in the black SUV...


The front of their driveway -


Makeshift memorial in front of their fence -





Mourners on one side, press on the other.  Genuinely felt bad for Jackson neighbors -



May your neighborhood be free and your beds full of celebrities.

20 comments:

  1. I love the button! I love sending random gifts to my coworker/friend. Its so fun! I shall search my house for something ridiculous to mail her tomorrow.

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    1. Iiiii am looking for something to send her that is a tad inappropriate, but if her parents see will not cause them to forbid her from every seeing me again. Decisions, decisions...

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  2. OMG she sounds like the coolest SIL ever!

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    1. She is! At 16! Cannot wait for her to be old enough for us to take trips & get our booze on.

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  3. What a crazy button! I want a George Clooney one. ;)

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    1. Literally, I would wear any button that says I slept with someone. Send me a button that says "I slept with Elmo" and I will have won life.

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  4. I love the colors of your pillows! They don't look like bed pillows to me but they do look like lounging pillows. I collect buttons. I need an "I slept with ______" button for my collection.

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    1. Gracias! It's funny I'm so conscious of my blue-obsession that for some reason when I go shopping I try to push myself to by other.. So I had a living room full of other. No more, I say!

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  5. When I read the title of this post I wasn't expecting this...but I LOVE IT! The button is fantabulous....and I can totally see you saying Hooker....especially as some sort of endearment....Wow! about the MJ mourning...that's crazy shit....I'm kind of glad I live far away from anything like that....

    in appropriate gift for a 16 year old girl that won't banish you from her life forever? That's a tough one...I like the vibrator thing....just take the batteries out before you ship it...or you know the housewife porn that's all the craze...I like mindrot books, but I have not ventured down the GREY line nor do I have any plans to do so....

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    1. I DO use hooker as a term of endearment - quite often! A-la-Lafayette of True blood.

      I'm really thinking about this vibrator thing. I think I'm gonna do it. If she were to get one on her own, I would be crushed.

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  6. You should definitely send her a vibrator! Just package the batteries separately. Perhaps one that looks like a tube of lipstick or a rubber duck :)

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    1. I forgot about the lipstick ones! This is a fantabulous idea. Baby's first vibrator.

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  7. Holy crapola. I can't believe those Michael Jackson "mourning" pictures. The one at the very bottom looks like it is some kind of fair with lots of food tents. I am so curious as to what they did with all of the stuffed animals and fake flowers from the memorial. Hopefully they donated them or something. Oh and I love the pillows. You have given me inspiration to throw mine out and get some new ones. My cats have pretty much ruined the totally ugly ones that we have!!

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    1. I have no idea what they do with that stuff afterwards! Tons of letters, too... Whenever anyone dies out here (including MJ) they put a giant wreath on their star on Hollywood Blvd and people bring flowers... I DO know the lovely people at Dearly Departed tours try to leave the wreath/sash up for a good couple of days and then take the sash. ;)

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  8. Love the final line: "May your neighborhood be free and your beds full of celebrities."

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    1. Ha! TRUE STORY. Can't even imagine living directly next to that stuff.. Or directly next to anyone on one of the celebrity tours.. I do think celebrities would make fabulous shagging partners (and result in wonderful buttons) and terrible neighbors.

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  9. I'm sorry about your Grandma. I hope she recovers very soon.

    As for a gift for quite the little badass 16 year old...maybe a visit from you would be fun?

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    1. Thanks - it's a tad bit scary but so far we're chalking the confusion up to a heap of pain pills.

      Ha! I wish! Sadly I won't see her until December. :(

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  10. After fifteen years spent navigating the 5, 405, and 101 from which I somehow emerged generally unscathed, I have to tell you how much I appreciate your second paragraph. May your luck hold in face of the Los Angeles car-butt-rapist population.

    By chance I drove by the county coroner's office around the same time of your compound pics. The pandemonium was much the same. I wondered what the hell was going on until I saw all the MJ posters.

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  11. So sorry to hear your granny hasn't quite been herself since her fall. *hugs to you and your granny*

    Holey news crews Batman! That's a lot of press and a lot of gawkers / mourners. I too feel bad for the neighbors after seeing your photos.

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