Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Colors of Medicine

Happy Tuesday, Tiddlywinks.

Yesterday was not the best ever.  On the other hand, it could have been much worse.

I basically had a day of experiencing, live and in HD, the southern California emergency care system for the first time in a long time.

My Mom took my Grandma to the emergency room yesterday.. So I unexpectedly threw on some clothes and drove the hour and a half to join her.  My Grandma's fine - she has had some.. falling spells?  And is lacking some of her usual feist. So I drove down to join them because sure I wanted to assess the situation, but mostly because my Mom's kind of been running herself ragged and I wanted to make sure she.. you know, ate.  So my morning consisted of breaking into the patient section of the ER (I am both delightfully sneaky and charming - FACT) and bringing them Subway sandwiches so we could throw lettuce all over the hospital. 

Then Bub alerted me that he needed to go to urgent care...  He had yet another date with a cup yesterday morning, and I am somewhat sad to report that the urgent care visit was not in any way a result of some sort of porn catastrophe.

 A late manly Monday fact - Bub is the worst patient in the history of ever. He once got in a gnarly car accident and was outraged that I took him to the hospital.  His uvula was once swollen so bad that it was stuck down his throat, and he was horrified that I made him go to urgent care.  So for him to announce to me that we were going.. I assumed he had lost a limb or at the very least was texting me whilst on fire.

Mind you - we're used to having to go to Cedar Sinai, an excellent hospital in LA (if you're a celebrity that's where you give birth or overdose).  Much like a swanky Hollywood nightclub, it's delightful once and if you get in - but in this case you get in right away only if you are a celebrity or you have lost a limb.  (I once sat in the waiting room for 6 hours with a kidney stone, passed it, and then left without being seen).  So hospital options definitely puts one up on the scoreboard for living outside of Hollywood.

So I left my Grandma at the ER (again, she's fine), drove the now 2 hour drive to get home, let the dogs peediddle, did 10 seconds of work and got dressed.  Then Bub and I went to a ghetto fabulous urgent care which was empty, the Doctor was lovely, the whole thing took an hour and they sent him home with some pain pills... Looks like  he probably is having a kidney stone, won't know until he gets an ultrasound tomorrow.

Sidenote:  yes, feel bad for him, poor Bubba.  Also know that G-d is smiting him for when I have had kidney stones, and he looked at me and said "do we really have to go to the hospital?"

So Jenny is now an expert in the many shades of healthcare available in the greater Los Angeles area.



Ladies!  I am tickled pink that so many people have requested the questionnaire from EmHart & myself.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about - Miss Em and I are working on a screenplay and need your help - click here.

And now for some good vibe requests.

This is Jenn who we all know I have a lesbian crush on.  She has had a little scare with her pregnancy and is finding out what's going on tomorrow.  Visiting her and sending good vibes is wildly encouraged.

This is LeslieGail, who is one of my newer lesbian internet crushes.  She is lovely.  Her pregnancy is coming to an end, which is devastating and good vibes are also wildly encouraged.  

As if that weren't shitty enough, her Doctor acted like a huge, unbelievable asshole and I have been enraged all day on her behalf. So enraged that I'm wondering what can be done about this kind of situation?  Just review someone like that online, send a letter on her behalf?  I'm not sure.  Leslie wrote him a well thought out eloquent letter in response to it - which shows what a lovely and mature person she is.. I would've been  halfway through peeing on the roof of his car before it occurred to me there may be a better way to handle it.

I understand that there a large quantity of asshole Doctors out there with absolutely zero bedside manner - which makes me appreciate the wonderful ones holding down the fort even more.  I also understand that some of our demands and expectations can be stressful - it's a stressful situation.

But understanding?  Required.  It is fucking outrageous that there are RE's who do not understand that what is a 15 minute discussion in their day which they will quickly move on from has the power to completely destroy a womans already fragile mental state. 

There is, of course, a shit ton of bad news that has to be delivered to women from these offices on a daily basis.  But an RE allowing his frustrations or personal shit to color how he delivers the information is unacceptable.  For you, a bad day or temporary frustration is something that you will get over in a day or two - however, for that woman, however you handle the delivery of that information has the potential to traumatize her.

Jesus.  Maybe their needs to be a site exclusively dedicated to rating RE's and their bedside manner.  It maybe wouldn't save us a lot of grief but it would certainly help us decide who we want with us when we're grieving.




28 comments:

  1. It's nice that you are sticking up for your buddies. And I had never thought to pee on the roof of someone's car. That's going in the file.

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    1. I'm a little horrified that it's my first instinct. ;)

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  2. While I don't know of a website that rates REs on their bedside manner, I strongly encourage you to check out www.myobsaidwhat.com

    It's a hair-raising site based on the ridiculous/callous/incredibly inane things that medical professionals say to women, particularly relating to conception, pregnancy, and breastfeeding. Some of the comment discussions can get very polarized, and quite frankly a little bit granola for me, but it's certainly thought provoking, and educating.

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    1. Woah - never heard of it! Checking out...

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  3. Your tour of all hospitals in California sounds like you are having days like me... Where at the end you are scratching your head like... REALLY?

    The visual of you peeing on the roof of the car made me laugh when I really needed it. I One thought of lighting a poo bag in my boss's office, but I need a paycheck.

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    1. I think maybe if you used dog poo and gloves you could pull it off.

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  4. yes, a busy day indeed....glad the grandmother is OK and the Bub is sympathizing what your labor will be like...and for the record after having 7 kidney stones and one kid...I'd rather give birth...I will be thinking of both of them...

    Have already stopped by Jenn's and Leslie's pages. I'm utterly disgusted at how her RE talked to her. I know my RE is really into reviews online. The sites: health grades.com ratemds.com and there was one more but I can't remember it.

    I'm so glad so many people are jumping on the questionnaire page....LOVE this!!!

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    1. Oh thank gawd there are sites like that... Why they're not bigger deals I don't know. Lord knows when you have a good doctor they are WONDERFUL and when you have a bad one they are TERRIBLE. There really doesn't seem to be too many 'meh' Doctors.

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  5. Oh Storky Stork what a run around! I hope you are OK and your Grandma and Bub are recovering.

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    1. Oh I'm delightful - just exxxxhausted. Both recovering swimmingly so there's the good news!

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  6. Wow what a crazy day. Glad everyone is doing ok though! It was so nice of you to support your bloggie friends. Sending them both lots of love.

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    1. Everyone is hopped up on drugs so they're exxxxcellent. ;)

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  7. Hope the ultrasound today clears up what is up with Bub.

    And that doctor, what an awful thing to say to a grieving woman. Nasty, just nasty.

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    1. Could not. Believe. Makes me upset that we are not all members of some Infertile Town.

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  8. Can I just say, kidney stones are the WORST thing EVER. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. And DH and I have gotten into a fight when I demanded he take me to the hospital and he thought I didn't need to go. Ummm, no, don't I look like I'm dyyyyying!

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    1. Hahaha YAAAAY I'm glad someone else's spouse doubted the severity.. I have a feeling that now Bub will never doubt me again, though.

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  9. I am one of those women that experienced an AWFUL OB. Seriously, a cold-hearted, terrible excuse for a doctor. During my u/s last summer where my blighted ovum was diagnosed, all he said was "here's the sac, it's empty. maybe you're not as far as along as you think. let's do bloodwork to make sure." Then let me go home and I began miscarrying at home, which no prior information on what exactly was going to happen. The yelled at me during my follow-up appt as to why my step-mom was talking and not me. Umm, because you're a giant douche who makes women cry, that's why. It's unfortunate that there are so many doctors out there like him. To him, I was a statistic, which he kept repeating over and over again. It was just a day in his life, but for me, it was total devastation.

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    1. Un. Believable. So apparently there's a long list of RE's that I need to beat up.

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  10. I can't believe you had to wait that long at Cedars Sinai! WTF is the overpriced American healthcare system for, if not for speedy service at the very LEAST?? Maybe if you wear really large sunglasses and a baseball cap and get shitty highlights you'll get through triage quicker? Anyway -- this is shite news about Jenn and Leslie... Leslie especially. Isn't there a board of REs she can register a formal complaint with or something? Totally outrageous.

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    1. Oh it's for NOTHING.. It's for NOTHING. If you're a gajillionaire with connections it's a state-of-the-art medical situation but otherwise there are various layers of screwed.

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  11. you area a trooper. I hate hospitals with everything in my being, and avoid them at all costs. But for my Grandma I would've gone in a second. I hope Bubba feels better, kidney stones hurt like a mother fucker, I passed on too, because I was such a baby and wouldn't got to the ER...yeah I hate hospitals!

    What is wrong with some Doc's!!! They should be put to shame on the internet. I do know most Doc's do have reviews online. She should rip him a new one so every women out there can see what an ass. It takes a special person to be in this business, and some are not cut out for it!

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    1. Oh there are WAY too many with G-d complexes. WAY too many.

      You had a kidney stone and didn't go to the ER?!? Are you going to be one of those women that has a subtle stomach cramp, gives birth in the yard and then continues with gardening?!?

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  12. Glad your Grandmother is ok! Sorry Bub, is in pain. And thanks so much for your sweet words and the supportive peeps you sent to my blog. You're a sweetheart!

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    1. Ha! Sweetheart I am not. PISSED I am. PISSED! Still can't get over what a prick that guy is. He should be thankful we don't live closer.

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  13. What a day. I hope you were able to enjoy a glass of wine at the end of it. Hell, drink it right from the bottle babe. I'm glad to hear grandma and Bub's are in better sorts. They are lucky to have you.

    I just went over to read Leslie's blog. FuckMeSidewaysThatIsSoNotRight. Like you, I would have not handled it as graciously as she did. It makes my hair stand on end knowing that she had to endure her RE madness at a time like that. It's just madness.

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    1. It's deeeee-sgusting. Hers definitely takes the cake but it's infuriating how many people on here have had shitty-shitty run ins with RE's. As if being in the position to even have to go to an RE isn't shitty enough.

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  14. Um, yeah the RE's here aren't any better. One decent one out of four in my clinic and he is gone right now. Sorry about your friend's loss.

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  15. Aww poor grandma and Bub! I'm glad your grandma is doing better. I hope Bub feels much better soon! Yikes!
    Man, so sad about your friends. Doctors can be just terrible sometimes. I've experienced some shitty ones. I would totally complain to anyone that would listen. I've gotten into it on the phone with one particular nurse I had. Total cold hearted biotch! If you work in that profession, it should be a requirement that you have a heart!

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