Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dear Heisenberg

Dear Heisenberg,

Technically, as of this moment, I am 6 weeks and 1 day pregnant with you.  Which I cannot freaking believe. It took us a long time to get you here - a super long time.  (And when you're older I'm going to tell you this just enough for you to know how wanted you are in this world, but not enough for you to feel bad about arriving a little late. You came when you were supposed to come, we just wanted you so bad the wait wasn't easy).

I'm writing to you mostly because I need you to stick around.  Tomorrow is a big appointment where they look for your heart flutter (we just need to see it) and then they can say to us 'okay, things seem like they're going well - you can breathe easier'.  I don't care if you're extroverted like me or introverted like your Dad after you're born, but I'm going to need you to show up to parties - like tomorrows - before you are. Just to say hi.

They say babies choose their parents (I know I did and I went to a lot of trouble to get there).  You went to a lot of trouble to choose us - a lot of trouble and a lot of asskicking - it seems only right to tell you a few things about us.

I'm your big-eyed (you probably will be, too) and insanely goofy Mom. You will absolutely not have the best cookies at the bake sale with me, no crafting we ever do will be pinterest worthy and I'm sorry to say if you get my curly hair I don't really know what to do with it - but I will always try to make you laugh, I will always try to make you happy (while ensuring you are still a good person) and I will always, well, try. I haven't let myself buy you anything yet - but when I can, I have your first real purchase already picked out:

(source.)

It's a onesie with the inexplicable face of Bill Murray on it.  I'm not sure why but I feel that's pretty indicative of the type of Mom you'll be getting.

Your Dad is the tall and furry genius.  He's just as goofy as I am, but way more thoughtful and focused. He's a great big, nerdy and delightful weirdo and I hope you get his non-picky eating habits and pineapple hair. Because of him it's entirely possible you'll be able to tear apart computers and explain them to me, and it's definite that you'll be playing some kind of musical instrument as soon as you're able to sit up (don't panic, in a fun way, not a required way, like so -


What do I know about you so far?

I know that you're a freaking fighter - strength is just something you have a lot of.  I know this because of the many hurdles you've encountered and didn't just jump but sailed over. I need you to keep sailing over them.

Wanting someone like your Dad in my life was wanting someone to love me (and as an added bonus, give love back).  Wanting you was having so much love to give someone (and as an added bonus, maybe one day you'll love me back).  At this point, we have so much love to give you you wouldn't even believe it.  SO much love - it would knock you over.  We promise to mess you up just enough to give you a sense of humor without doing any permanent damage, and that we're going to have so. much. fun. once you get here...

Please, please please, show up tomorrow.  Love you and want you so very very much.

Love,
Mom (and Dad)







22 comments:

  1. I missed your big news -- congratulations!! You chose an awesome name with Heisenberg. I'm sending so many positive thoughts for tomorrow.

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  2. Best.Post.Ever. Positive thoughts & everything crossed that Baby Heisenberg is A.OK!!!

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  3. You just made a night time feed totally doubly worth having to wake up for. That was beautiful. And now I am sobbing all over the babies head.

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    1. Oh, and hey, it looks like the athsmatic, one legged pigeon came through. Go paralympic pidge!!

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  4. Um, what's that in my eye? It's nothing. It's just my allergies. Sniff sniff. Beautiful and so well said. Sending all the positive vibes your way tomorrow for an awesome scan.

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  5. i love this….we are all hoping this little one stays around for a long LONG time! <3

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  6. I'm not crying...ok, yes I am. I want this so bad for you. This is the sweetest post.

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  7. Every positive vibe in my body is being sent your way my friend. I just know that little flutter will be there tomorrow!!!

    Come on Heisenberg, make mommy and daddy and the blogosphere proud!!!

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  8. Mega love this!!!! Heisenberg come on buddy.... I know you got this!!!

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  9. So sweet :)

    I will warn you that 6w2d MAY be too early for a heart beat- with my son we did see it at 6w2d but we weren't looking for it at all. It was very slow and primitive and my RE believed it had just started the night before. For reals. So if you don't see it, take a deep breath and remember that it could be too early. Hopefully things will be on track, whether there's a heart beat or not. HOPING and sending positive happy thoughts!

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  10. Good luck with your ultrasound! Here's hoping for everything to be absolutely perfect!

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  11. Just catching up. Congrats and good luck!

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  12. Definitely brought tears to my eyes. good luck times a bazillion, and will be waiting for an update. as others have said, don't be surprised if the heart rate is low. I think my first one was like 116? Sending as many prayers and happy thoughts as possible

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  13. As stated in earlier comments 6 weeks 2 days may be too early to get a heartbeat...at my 6 week, 3 day we could barely see a fetal flicker but they couldn't measure it until a week later. That said, good luck with your appt! Heisenberg know what to do and he takes care of business so im sure everything will be awesome!

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  14. Hope all goes well with your ultrasound today.

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  15. Love this post. :) Thinking of you today!

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  16. So perfect! Thinking of you today!

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  17. Hope your ultrasound goes great!

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  18. poke poke...hope you are doing well (and update soon!)

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